Category: Love

LOVE IN A WORD

Our theme for September is Loving Outloud and it’s got me thinking a lot about the word Love. In the     English language we say we love our  partner, our parents, our children, and our pets. We also say we love the ocean, the mountains, the desert, and the dessert. We love cake and ice cream, we love our cars and our homes, and some of us really love our stuff (you fill in the blank). We use the word love so loosely that it can almost lose its meaning.

 

 

The Greeks have eight words for the various types of experiences of love:

• There is the love of family, or storge, that is the natural love family members have for one another

• There is philia, the type of love friends have for one another

• Pragma is the love grown out of obligation, duty, or logic

• Erotic love is eros, the love expressed by physical desire.

• As it sounds, mania is obsessive love, the love that sparks jealousy and possessiveness

• Borrowed from Latin, ludus is playful love, often associated with courtship and new relationships

• Love of self is philautia that expresses how we feel about ourselves and our bodies

• Finally, there is unconditional, sacrificial love known as agape’. This is the love that one can have for God, humanity, or life itself.

Source: Dictionary.com

The famous passage in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes this agape’ type of love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Ernest Holmes defines Love as “the self-givingness of the Spirit through the desire of Life to express Itself in terms of creation. Emerson tells us that Love is a synonym for God. . . . Love is free from condemnation, even as it is free from fear. Love is a cosmic force whose sweep is irresistible.” The Science of Mind pg. 608

This is the love we strive for, the love that fills our hearts and helps us to find forgiveness that transcends human level conditions. In love, there is no fear, no doubt, no separation, only the infinite Love of Spirit that unites us with all of Life.

–Sharon Whealy, RScP

The Wheel of Time

By the time this newsletter lands in your inbox at 3am (MST) on Wednesday morning, I will have retired as the senior minister at CSL Tucson, and your CSLT board will have already begun taking the actions necessary to identify what CSLT desires in their next minister. I affirm that your next CSLT minister is already beginning to feel the pull to join this beloved community.

I thank you for the beautiful send-off that happened this past Sunday – for the applause after my talk, the party, the hugs, the cards, the gifts (you didn’t have to, and thank you!), and your words of encouragement about my next adventure. I also want to thank you for the things I learned as your senior minister, all the joys, the hard things and every single thing in between — all the growth that I personally experienced.

I meant every word I said Sunday about every individual already having everything they need to live as their full expression as their divine self – living out loud. God as you, right here and right now. This doesn’t, can’t, and won’t negate the Law of Cause and Effect, or choice and consequence, as I like to think about it, because we all get to learn as we go. Holmes wrote about life this way (The Science of Mind 384.1) “it leaves us free to work out our own salvation – not with fear or even with trembling – but with peace and in quiet confidence.” Each one of us gets to work out what gives us and our life experience more light, joy, delight, wonder, awe and life, or whatever qualities of Abundant Good each one of us chooses to experience in greater expression.

I also meant every word from that African proverb about being able to ‘go farther’ as part of a spiritual community that you support and that supports you. I know of no successful person who doesn’t have a community of practice. Give yourself that gift of community by participating.

I leave you with one final thought. Those of you who know me well, know I have a particular affinity for the Tao Te Ching, almost anybody’s translation. I came across a little book recently, called The Art of Pastoring, Contemplative Reflections, by William C Martin. He’s paraphrased the writings of the Tao Te Ching as guidance for ministers.

–Rev Janis Farmer

A Thank You for Teachers and What They Taught!

Thank you, Reverend Janis!

We should never be afraid of change, never fearful of what will come. Instead, we should bring to bear on each new event the influence of the crea:ve nature of our thought—an influence that is founded on an inward calm, a sense of certainty and peace, which will reflect itself in the changing scene of our everyday lives. Ernest Holmes, A New Design for Living, page 55.

When I first walked up to CSL Tucson at the Gregory School, I was early and looking for the meditation gathering. Reverend Janis (then a practitioner) was speaking with Keith Gorley. I interrupted them and Reverend Janis pointed me towards the entrance to backstage, where it was being held that day. After my first exposure to CSLT I felt that I had found my community.

At the time I was blessed to have a place to stay overnight in Tucson and could easily attend evening classes. A friend had moved to Hawaii and let me use his apartment on occasion while he was gone.

I attended all four of the Basics talks given by Reverend Donald Graves on Monday nights at the office. I showed up for Sunday services and took the next offered Foundations class. That was an awesome class of about 14 to 15 individuals, and I experienced a sweet closeness and camaraderie with several of them. Today at CSLT only Pat Masters and I remain as regular attendees.

I appreciated Reverend Donald’s manner of teaching Foundations. I enjoyed his Sunday talks, even some of the jokes. His energy and presentation of practical applications of Science of Mind principles helped this newcomer greatly. For a couple of years Reverend Donald was the face of Science of Mind teachings for me. I was living across the state when Reverend Donald retired.

Last year Keith Gorley made his transition. I participated in several book studies that Keith facilitated. I found him to be a dynamic model of wisdom and honesty and a genius at holding a safe space for participants’ vulnerability. Keith was special.

I have taken Foundations twice yet never got the degree of clarity I now have until being a student of Reverend Janis. Her instructions and practical exercises for Affirmations and Spiritual Mind Treatments have greatly benefited participants in her classes and workshops. She is a skilled teacher and mentor.

I was living part-time across the state for 5 years because in 2014 I became a grandmother. CSL in Lake Havasu City, AZ relied mainly on visiting ministers at the time. One Sunday the visiting minister was Janis Farmer!! I was so happy to see her that I shed tears of joy and took her to lunch where she filled me in on the changes and goings on at CSL Tucson. And now our beloved Reverend Janis is retiring. Personally, I will miss her.

Change sometimes brings sadness. Yet I must ask myself, how can my dominant feeling for these teachers be anything but Gratitude? They introduced me to Ernest Holmes, Science of Mind, and a new design for living. So, I remain open and optimistic about our future at Center for Spiritual Living Tucson. I am trusting the process. Especially I want to be ‘be here now’ and enjoy the journey.

To Reverend Janis I say, Thank you; I wish you peace and many blessings in your upcoming adventures.

 

–Linda Bullock

GOT LOVE

Since February 14 is Valentine’s Day, my thoughts bring me to want to write about Love.

Wait! Did I just say that? Want to write? Yes, I do want to write. ‘Change my thinking, change my life’ is definitely becoming apparent. But what’s love got to do with it?

Everything!

Love is one of the greatest feelings I receive every moment of my life. My mind and heart overflow with love. Love is everywhere and in everything.

“As for love, when our minds are filled with thoughts of love for others it seems that we are surrounded by people and situations of a loving nature.”
“Today I bestow the essence of love upon everything. Everyone I meet shall be lovely to me. My soul meets the soul of the Universe in everyone. This love is a healing power touching everything into wholeness.”

Ernest Holmes-A New Design for Living pages 80 and 238 (And a whole chapter on Love can be read in this book.)

For me, feeling and being a part of the love is very easy and comes quite naturally when life is going along as I desire. But (there’s always a but) being in the state of love can be quite challenging when life can change in an instant. That instant is usually something someone said or did to me. I know I am overly sensitive (I’ve been told) and my feelings easily get hurt (and that really matters to no one). Knowing this doesn’t ease the pain or change the way I feel in the moment. When that moment hits, I quickly shut down as the lump in my throat starts to grow. (That’s the mind/body connection which I’ll save for another article.) The only way I know to immediately try and ease the pain of the moment is to quietly cry to my self. The tears help to wash the hurt away. With time, everything heals although the experience often isn’t forgotten.

Then I return to love. I always come back to the love.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.                                    Love never fails.
-1 Corinthians 13:4

–Madeline Pallanes

Report from our October 2 2022 Annual Meeting by Rev Janis

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Apologies to the 6 folks, and any others, who tried to join on zoom. The sound was working when we tested it, so I don’t know what happened after that. Nothing changed, and apparently, something changed.

We had 14 people in the room. Maria ran the meeting. Each board member talked about their area of specific connection to our greater community. More on each group, team, and topic, are included in our Annual Report, which is linked elsewhere in this newsletter; specific details are shared in the monthly Board minutes. Board minutes are included in our weekly newsletter a couple weeks after each board meeting, and are made available on the website, under About Us, under Organizational Documents.

One question was raised about the number of major donors we have. Janet’s answer was a good one. We track that information by quarter, and report it to the Board, without attaching any names to the donation amounts. The information is also recorded and presented in the Board minutes. For the second quarter of 2022, we had 14 contributors who donated 80% of the monies that came in to our center. During the first quarter of the year, 80% of our donations came from 18 contributors. These are considered our ‘major donors’ and we especially celebrate them. We also acknowledge and celebrate all contributions of time, talent and/or treasure, in whatever form they occur. Generosity abounds. And as Rev Karen said last Sunday morning, “Money loves rhythm, … and flow.”

When I spoke about last January’s Community Envisioning, I mentioned that one of the desires of the community was to have more social activities. I reiterated that suggested social activities must arise from within our community. Board members can suggest activities, but they are not the only source of potential fun things we can do. These can be formal activities that take a bit of preparation and planning (see the next paragraph for how to do that), or more casual activities, such as going to Willcox to pick fruit, caravanning down to see the sandhill cranes, enjoying music and a meal at the lavender farms, or going for a hike or bike ride, or getting together to see a play at LTW, live music or a sporting event. Examples of other fun classes we have held in the past, tangentially related to learning, had to do with folding peace cranes, and coloring mandalas. Both of these are sneaky ways to expand each individual’s repertoire of meditation practices.

I didn’t mention it at the meeting, but we have an event proposal form on our website (under Organizational Documents). If someone were interested in proposing a big event, such as having a booth at the Tucson Pride Festival that happened this past weekend, this would be how they would do that. In the past, we’ve had a booth at the Tucson Festival of Books. There may be other events in town where we could have an identifiable presence. What are they?

In addition to the classes that I’ll be teaching, some of which will be certificated, Noreen Poli intends to offer an in-person, Wednesday afternoon book study on Emmett Fox’s Sermon on the Mount in January. You may remember when Noreen offered this book study four or five years ago when our office was still on E. River Rd. Also, Ethel Lee-Taylor intends to offer a book study on Brene’ Brown’s Braving the Wilderness in February. More book studies and assorted classes will arise, as other facilitators step up.

The last thing on the agenda was electing new board members. We had two seats available that had remained unfilled during the Covid years. No one rotated off the board this year. Linda Bullock expressed an interest in serving on the Board, meets the qualifications (as specified in our bylaws), and attended a board meeting to see what she was agreeing to. She spoke a few minutes to those assembled in the room, and was unanimously elected with cheers, and thanks.

We remain grateful to every single individual who participates with, and supports, this center. It is your active participation and engagement, as well as in the sharing of your time, talents and treasures that we become a more effective place of learning and growth, connection and community. We are grateful for you all.

Got Mom?

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As most of you know, I am the mother of 2 boys. My oldest son David recently turned 30.

Madeline’s son David

He has brain damage and a severe handicap.

Since about the age of 3 David has needed a wheelchair, which is nothing any mother wants for their child. I have always felt deep sadness that my son needs a wheelchair.

I remember the perky little physical therapist bouncing around with such great excitement, paperwork in her hands, “David’s insurance is going to cover his 1st wheelchair! Aren’t you excited? David’s going to get a wheelchair!”

As I responded I began to cry, “No this is nothing to be excited over.” My son needs a wheelchair.

She viewed it as kind of like ordering a new car from the dealership. “You get to pick out the colors!”

I didn’t feel that way. I still don’t feel that way even after ordering his next one about 10 years later and so forth. I’ve become an expert on non-motorized wheelchairs through the years, yet I still don’t like them but that’s a whole different story.

This story is about a personal experience I had with a mother, 25 years ago, in Tucson. An experience I know I will never forget. I had this experience because I am a mother of a handicapped child who uses a wheelchair. I have always wanted to submit my experience to Chicken Soup for the Soul, or a letter to the editor of the Tucson newspaper, to honor this mother on Mother’s Day.

I’m glad I can share this story with all of you.

I was standing in the checkout line in a grocery store. David was about 5 years old seated in his wheelchair.

In front of us was a mother holding a baby on her hip with one arm, using her other arm to empty the groceries from her shopping cart onto the conveyor belt. Standing alongside her was her son who was probably about 4 years old. He was pulling on her leg to get her attention, looking back at us and saying, “Mom! Look! There is a boy in a wheelchair!”

I slightly cringed and pretended not to notice. It was a very awkward feeling. A feeling I had only a couple years experience with.

She said something to him that I couldn’t quite hear. Neither did the boy. She continued to remove the items from her cart with one hand, rather methodically, baby on hip, never looking back at us.

The boy continued pulling on her and now at the same time pointing at us, and with great urgency continuing to say, “Mom! Look! There’s a boy in a wheelchair!”

She continued removing the groceries from her cart, never looking back at us and repeated what she had said a moment earlier.

This time I heard what she said, “Did you say Hi?”

The boy stepped over close to David, looked directly at him and smiled. They were now face-to-face. He raised his hand in motion and said, “Hi!”

Happy Mother’s Day to all the beautiful Mothers reading this.

—Madeline Pallanes

 

It’s the LOVE month!

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Disclaimer: Due to the present circumstances of what seems like a forever ongoing Covid-19 to try and avoid, which now has variations that sound pretty scary, it’s difficult for me to focus on writing about love. And so, that’s why I practice and keep on practicing.

After Rev. Janis’ talk this morning, I realize there’s a part of me that sits patiently waiting for acknowledgement, and to be reminded, that I am a part of the Eternal Love – that’s what brought me to my life on earth, and that I have both given, and received, an abundance of love throughout my life. It’s so easy for me to feel separate and alone, especially when I can’t gather with my family and friends to feel the physical companionship that comes from socializing and physical contact in community. This has been limited for (almost) all of us … for what seems to be a very long time. I also miss the stimulation of my thinking that’s just different when we aren’t together in person.

The Bible tells us there are 4 kinds of love:

Eros, which is the Greek god of erotic love. Storge, which is familial love.
Philia, which is brotherly love.
Agape, which is selfless, unconditional love.

Mahatma Gandhi so beautifully stated, “Where there is love there is life.”

Love is essential for our lives, and is both a feeling and an activity. Love encompasses opposites, and understands all things.

The supreme happiness of life consist in the conviction that one is loved.

A quote from Helen Keller: “One of the most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or heard, but must be felt with the heart.”

Love moves us in a particular, beneficial, direction; I have to ask myself, is love my impelling force? And if not, I can ask Spirit to reveal to me how I am to love and serve, not just my family, but my community of sisters and brothers whether we are physically together or apart.

I remind myself today, as often as I need to – Love dissolves all fear and I live as a powerful expression of the Love of God today.

And from my favorite mystic, Rumi:

“Close your eyes,
Fall in love,
Stay there”

Happy Valentine’s Day to all, Namaste, Janie

Welcome to Brady’s World

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As I sit here today and contemplate all that is happening here in our world, I am reminded of the truth. We are always at choice. No matter what is on going on out there, I have the power to choose what is going on in here. I can begin my day by scrolling through the news, which is now a strange confluence of health and politics. I can focus on the tragedy of the loss of life and the myriad opinions about it. However, as we know, where thought goes, energy flows! And so I can choose to not get caught up in all the noise and fear that is going on. Otherwise, I may simply be co-creating something even more from this fear and panic.

In the midst of this, I realize that the perfect example for me to follow is my sweet little dog, Brady. Throughout these days, he is always in the moment. He does not have a “to-do” list or regrets about yesterday. His thoughts and behaviors are simple.

For Brady, the Covid-19 epidemic means:
“My person is home with me nearly ALL the time! I get extra attention, play times and even more than one walk a day! If she is acting sad or upset at times, I just hop up into her lap or lay quietly at her feet. I especially like listening to the concerts on line with her or attending her Zoom meetings. Yay! Company but I’m still getting all the attention! I always wake up in a playful mood and now I can visit with her for a long time during breakfast. It doesn’t matter to me what is on the news—I don’t listen to it. But I do pay attention if there are other dogs on TV!!! I like being home and playing outside with her. She says I am her role model—always being in the present, whatever that means. I am here just to show and receive love. And get treats!”

For those of us who have chosen to share our lives with furry friends, you probably can relate. I can’t imagine going through the last several months without him. I also wonder — how much more peaceful would my mind be if I followed Brady’s example? Be in the moment and release judgments. Take time to play and always be open for new adventures. Sit quietly and contemplate by going within. Keep my life simple and loving to others. And always be on the lookout for treats!

 

–by Susan Seid

There’s Love, And Then There’s Love

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Love came and made me empty
Love came and filled me with the Beloved
It became the blood in my body
It became my arms and legs
It became my everything
Now all I have is a name
The rest belongs to the Beloved. – Rumi

The word Love in Sufism translates to intense liking. Figurative love is attached to mortals. On the other hand, loves real meaning is the love of God. Sometimes figurative love leads to real love. Love is not a mental issue, it is Spiritual. Love begins in God and with his/her/Its love for us. Why else would we have been created? The love of God is always flowing back to us if we allow it in.

I reviewed for my own curiosity the three types of love:
1. Eros, the Greek God of romantic, intimate love
2. Agape, is Greco-Christian revealing the love of God for man, and of man for God. It encompasses Universal love, nature or God, a modern concept of altruism. It is also a basic concern for others beyond self.
3. Philos, is an ideal love, which is an unselfish brotherly love also exemplifying loyalty, sacrifice and appreciation.

Aristotle theorized one must feel love for themselves before being able to feel love for others. It can be a powerful experience to give love and expect nothing in return.

My first hint of unconditional love happened when I had my first child at barely 18 years of age. (I ran away and married in Oklahoma at age 17.) Prior to that I had only experienced Eros love. I can still remember looking down at that little pulse beating in the skull of her head while nursing her. I never knew or imagined I could love anyone so much. I truly felt the presence of something much greater than myself, a blessing of such grace and a gift of such magnitude. I was simply overwhelmed with joy. The love of God, right there in my lap. And she is still the Love of my life.

From Ernest Holmes’ Living Science of Mind (331.5)
“Love is the victor in every case. Love breaks down the iron bars of thought, shatters the walls of material belief, severs the chain of bondage which thought has imposed, and sets the captive free.”

Also from Rumi:
“The way you make love is the way God will be with you, until your eyes constantly exhale love as effortlessly as your body yields its scent. Your task is not to seek for love …but to merely seek all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. The heart has its own language.”

There is no right or wrong way to love, but there can be beauty and fullness when you fill your life with the many types of love.

–Janie Hooper

Our Prospective Charities for 2020 + 1

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During December we’re hear from three charitable organizations that you recommended during our congregational solicitation in November. On January 5, during Sunday Services, those present will vote for the charity we will support with a percentage of our Sunday offerings in 2020.

December 8 – Youth On Their Own strives to eliminate barriers to education and empower Arizona’s homeless youth to stay in school. For over 30 years, YOTO provides continuing support in support of high school graduation for persons in this unique demographic by providing financial assistance, basic human needs, and one-on-one guidance. With the help of supporters nationwide, YOTO has empowered over 16,000 homeless youth to remain in school and pursue opportunities for self-sufficiency. For more information, visit: yoto.org

December 15 – Sister Jose Women’s Center is dedicated to the care and nurturance of homeless women within our community. They provide respite and basic needs as well as assistance with housing, social services, health advocacy and pre-employment readiness. Women reach out to women with dignity, respect and compassion. For more information, visit: srjosewomensshelter.org

December 22 – Old Pueblo Community Services offers a full continuum of services from Outreach to Supportive Housing. ‘Housing First’ places people, regardless of their history, in safe housing first. By removing the chaos of living on the streets or in shelters, vulnerable individuals engage in services and go on to live stable independent lives. This promotes individuals’ re-entry into the community as viable contributors. For more information, visit: helptucson.org

Attend each Sunday in December to learn about these three valuable charities and discover a bigger world-experience for yourself. Be sure to attend January 5 to vote on the charity you prefer that we support in 2020.

There was a fourth charity recommended, and is noteworthy for the good work they do for a very limited community, but we couldn’t include them because they didn’t meet our requirement for encouraging self-determined living, which implies that recipients would eventually be able to move from needing to be supported and specifically cared for. That is not the intention of this charity. Still, we wanted to highlight the good work they do. Miracle Square is a local non-profit which provides housing and support for low-income elderly and disabled residents in 22 casitas in a protected, gated, insular community environment. They offer individual advocacy to help residents secure services and manage conflict, provide light housekeeping, and provide pendant alarms for emergencies. Residents are encouraged to interact with each other daily. Residents routinely receive support from the larger community including personal care items, household goods, furnishings and even free admission to community events. A small food pantry is available, stocked by donations. Miracle Square residents also participate in planned, voluntary on-site social events, educational forums and craft activities. They are provided with transportation on accessible van to grocery stores, banks, pharmacies and medical appointments. Wellness care is provided by U of A Nursing Students, who engage the residents on a regular basis and help them develop and refine their independent living skills.

—Dick Laird

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