GOT RESENTMENT

Yeah, me too. I don’t like it. How about you?

In the Resilient book study class offered last year, I had mentioned that I often feel resentful and that I didn’t want to have those feelings in me. I didn’t like how I felt. Rev. Janis casually mentioned, ‘being resentful is a learned behavior.’ I almost didn’t hear what she said. Learned behavior? I thought who did I learn THAT from? Bam. I answered my own thought immediately. I can only begin to tell you the relief I felt just hearing those words, then. Knowing it was only a learned behavior, IT IS totally possible to UNLEARN that behavior! I felt instant relief.

Jump ahead to this year and I’m in the Atlas of the Heart book study class. We started to discuss the section on resentment, and I quickly announced, “I’m the Queen of resentment.” I said it as though it were a good thing! Ha! What? What am I thinking? Let me tell you, I’ve been thinking about this ever since I said that. Every thought we think and every word we speak, is creating our future (Louise Hay). I don’t want to be the Queen of resentment. I’m happy to let someone else wear that crown.

Why do we hang on to resentment? I don’t know but it’s obvious I do. Since I haven’t quite figured out how it serves me, I know it must, since I haven’t let it go. As I was walking past the 40′ shipping container on my property, the thought came to me that ‘hanging onto resentment is kind of like hoarding.’ The effects of one afflicted by it are basically the same since it is so difficult to let it go. I speak from experience in both areas.

Let me just clarify that a bit.

Resentment: a feeling of anger because you have been forced to accept something that you do not like. (Cambridge Dictionary)
Hoarding: a persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions because of a perceived need to save them. (Mayo Clinic)

Resentment is a thought; hoarding is an action. Both of which I don’t want. Neither serves me well.

What serves me well are thoughts and actions that bring me peace calm and order. That’s what I want to focus my attention on. Many years ago, I showed up at CSLT looking for a little bit of spiritual guidance. I got it, and a whole lot more than I ever bargained for. I love a good bargain. How about you?

Madeline Pallanes

fear, fight, flight, freeze, flop, fawn…

                                        … Faith, Forgiveness, Flow, Freedom

The seed of freedom must be planted in the innermost being of man, but… man must make the great discovery for himself.
Ernest Holmes The Science of Mind 25.2

I have finished the Spiritual Practitioner classwork, and my panels to become a licensed practitioner are this Saturday, June 25. This journey has been about living life from my center, going within and being one with the Source, with Life. It has been an awareness of how much of my time has been spent on looking outside myself for guidance. Aligning with Spirit is a constant monitoring of my thoughts, and when I get off course, to re-align. How can I assist someone to find their Divine Center if I can’t do that myself?

Looking at my life experiences and how I have related to them in the past; fear, and the five responses to being challenged (some would use the word trauma), fight, flight, freeze, fawn, flop. My top two behaviors are freeze, and fawn, which means compliance and people pleasing. These lifelong behaviors are not easy to change, but with awareness, practice, and weekly time with my prayer partners, I started transforming those experiences through faith and forgiveness, to get to flow and freedom. Ernest Holmes words on freedom became more than words, they became an experience.

This journey is about living life inside out, to know my truth by deepening my union with God. My Truth is not always comfortable, but it is Freedom.

The Divine Plan is one of Freedom; bondage is not God-ordained.
Freedom is the birthright of every living soul…. The truth points to freedom, under Law. Thus the inherent nature of man is forever seeking to express itself in terms of freedom. We do well to listen to this Inner Voice, for it tells us of a life wonderful in its scope; of a love beyond our fondest dreams; of a freedom which the soul craves.
Ernest Holmes The Science of Mind 25.3

Photo by Jill Wellington

–Maria

Time again to reach out and share some thoughts that relate to Tucson CSL

I made it to the first meeting of the book study “Atlas of the Heart.”

The discussion was centered on the introduction and the first chapter. I realized that some of my problems following the line of thought had to do with my defense mechanism of avoidance.

At one point during the introduction the author was lamenting along with her siblings their intense disdain for having to move literally tons of accumulated stuff that the previous, now dead, generation had gathered and refused to let go of. I was a good student of said generation and I am a visual learner. I also depend heavily on physical prompts to jog my memories.

I have a real addiction to stuff.

I tend to avoid anything I see as unpleasant whatever it takes. And if emotional work is involved, I have a tendency to run away.

Okay, so the introduction was just how the book came about and some background information. My stories are different and that’s ok. Because as individuals we are different, the emotional response pattern is similar.

Chapter one touched on stress, overwhelm, anxiety, worry, avoidance, excitement, dread, fear and vulnerability. The author gives brief examples of stress, overwhelm, anxiety and worry.

I particularly related to avoidance. The author states: “Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.” Also, I hadn’t considered the consequences of this coping mechanism and its effect on others.

“The premise of the book is that language has the power to define our experiences.” Anxiety and excitement are defined and contrasted to practical fears.

Then an analysis of vulnerability leading to the conclusion that vulnerability can also be an asset.

I have begun chapter two “Places We Go When We Compare” and feel like I am beginning to make some progress and finding more relatable material. I hope to attend this discussion for the next 12 weeks. The class is a drop in and not a certificated affair, so read along and feel free to participate as you are able.

–Chris Wheeler

Thoughts As My Sabbatical Ends

I’ve been physically away from you all for a month. I’ve done a bit of traveling and a lot of reading, writing, thinking and resting. I’ve had a doctor appointment — a follow-up from my hospital visit 3 months ago, a couple massages, and treatments for my back. I’ve finished one quilt top and started on another, planted some flowers, and done a tiny bit of work on my house.

I’ve watched the attendance numbers sag while I’ve been away, and the contributions are not keep up with what I know the basic monthly expenses are. I know it’s summer, our winter visitors have left for cooler climates, and more than a few folks have expressed displeasure with our continuing zoom services. I remember when Rev Donald took his sabbatical in summer 2016, our attendance dropped by 35%. Of course, that was also the summer the air conditioning was out at The Gregory (it was truly sweltering in that auditorium), so I’m sure that also had an impact. I’m grateful our Sunday attendance during May was only down 15%. Thank you to those who continued to participate in, and support, this spiritual community and those who chose to enjoy and support the speakers I deliberately picked for the Sundays I was elsewhere.

I devoured a bunch of books during the month I was away, both fiction and non-fiction, and I’ve thought a lot about what’s actually mine to do. Truthfully, the Visioning class I took in February jumpstarted the process for me. The final project for Visioning was to create a personal (life) vision statement. Mine: “I live as a lighthouse, a living sanctuary, involved and willing to be changed by the process. No matter what I do, I live as love.”

One of the books I’m still working my way through is Burnout, The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle (2019) by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. In the 2nd chapter, they wrote about reframing, and reconsidering the decisions we’ve made in the past, and how we might take another look at them. I’ll share my process with you, here.

The exercise is about redefining what success looks like for the reader, and it’s built around a goal that creates frustration instead of joy. I was stunned when I realized my answer to their question, which is what inspired me to share this with you all.

Frustrating Goal: Grow, support, and sustain CSLT, aka ‘Keep the wheels on the bus’. (I actually believed this was mine to do, and it’s not.)

Why is this frustrating? It’s not attainable for me to accomplish. I can’t make any of it happen.

What can I do instead? (Brainstorming, not all ideas captured are good ideas)

  • Share what I know, and continue to explore with individuals who engage
  • Speak, teach, facilitate, write
  • Support, encourage, guide (lighthouse)
  • Continue to explore my own spiritual (includes physical, mental, emotional) wellbeing, share what I learn
  • Encourage others to do the same
  • Fret over people who choose not to show up, or quit supporting this center (presumably because they feel it doesn’t support them the way they want to be supported.) Chase anybody, ever.
  • Express gratitude for those who do show up and participate.
  • Express gratitude for those continuing to connect with each other and this center.
  • Express gratitude for those engaging in their own spiritual (physical, mental, emotional) work.
  • Discover what self-care really looks like and do that.

Next, I get to choose a couple of these ideas and decide how to implement them most efficiently, keeping my vision for my life purpose firmly in mind. And remembering that if I’m not enjoying what I’m doing, I might want to think about that some more, and pick differently.

I look forward to being back with you soon. Big hugs. — Rev J

The Body Divine

That is the topic title of June’s Science of Mind magazine. Usually I “savor” the magazine, reading the Daily Guides each day and articles in my spare time throughout the month. After seeing Live Theater Workshop’s production of Body Awareness (playing through June 4th), hearing Joseph Gabrielson RScP speak about how his attitude towards his body changed while studying SOM principles, then seeing this month’s topic, I dove right in. If you don’t subscribe to the magazine, copies are available at the office.

Here are some of the highlights:

Pg. 11 – Dr. Edward Viljoen gives a simple exercise to come to love your body, or at least various parts of it.

Pg. 24 – At the end of Kelly Robbins’ article is a nice affirmation, “My body is the temple holding my soul. And it’s up to me to take care of it and love it as it is.”

Pg. 100 – Rev. Sally Robbins offers A Whole-Body Treatment.

Pg. 97 – Rev. Karen Russo eloquently states what I have come to realize: “We discover that choosing to build a robust, healthy physicality provides us with a more receptive, aware, capable vehicle for expressing our Spirit in this world.”

Pg. 26 – “Your Body Is Trying to Get Your Attention…Are You Listening?” by Dennis Merritt Jones spoke the most to me.

For many years, I did not listen to my body. I made it do what my mind thought it should regardless of any signals it was sending to the contrary. A cold wasn’t going to keep me from going to work. Feeling tired? Just push through it…and collapse later. And actually, that’s exactly what did happen. Diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I went from working 16-hour days to sleeping 16 hours a day. My body took drastic measures to make me slow down and listen. I reluctantly made many lifestyle changes-work, diet, exercise, yoga and meditation, etc.-which eventually led me to New Thought teachings and CSLT.

Many I know view this diagnosis as a disability and burden. I came to appreciate it as a way of learning lessons I would never have otherwise learned. I learned to stop and smell the roses. I learned that, even though I couldn’t do everything, I found ways to do what I was meant to do. I learned ways of doing things that were right for me, not necessarily anyone else. I learned what it meant to be a human being rather than a human doing. I learned I have value and worth in just being. I learned that I’m not like everyone else and that’s ok, even marvelous.

As Jones puts it, “…your body-in its current condition-may be a teacher with a message for you, especially if that condition is one of illness, malady, or disability of some sort. What message does your teacher have for you?”

–Janet Salese

GOT SHADES

On a recommendation I went to see her through a Catholic charity. She may have been a nun although she wasn’t dressed as one. She was old, probably the age I am now. I was young, in my early 20’s. She peered at me over her eyeglasses, head tipped down, eyebrows raised, lips perched in a stern wrinkled face. She sat behind a big wooden desk; arms folded in front of her. She stared at me as I sat on the hard wooden chair facing her, although I was ready for a couch. There was no couch. This was low budget counseling. I thought what the heck, I may even get some spiritual guidance here.

I spilled my guts to her.

I was wrong.

In a real annoyed tone, as if I were wasting her time, she said, “Madeline, you see life through rose colored glasses!” I sat there bewildered and quiet. She went on and on about how I was viewing life wrong. When I finally spoke, I said, “You make that sound like that’s a bad thing?!” Honestly, I couldn’t see what was so wrong with seeing life through rose colored glasses. Nearly 40 years later, I still can’t see what’s so bad about it. For this article I asked Google to define seeing through rose colored glasses: “to see things in an overly optimistic, often unrealistic way.” Again, I still can’t see what’s so wrong with that considering the alternative.

Nowadays though, ‘the future’s so bright I got to wear shades!” Love shades. I now see life through the eyes of love. It’s so much easier. It’s so much more beneficial. There’s no longer a need for low budget counseling. I simply soak up all the teachings CSLT has to offer. As a bonus, I do get some spiritual guidance. This is priceless and for this I share my love and remain grateful.

“In an intelligent study of the teachings of the Science of Mind, we come to understand that all is Love and yet all is Law. Love rules through Law. Love is the Divine Givingness; Law is the Way.”

Ernest Holmes – Science of Mind – Page 43.1

–Madeline Pallanes

BELONGING

For years a feeling like I did not fit on planet earth was my constant companion. I knew that there are a multitude of ways to GOD and I was confused seeing things and experiencing life from a multitude of modern perspectives. I have been influenced by many of the common ideas that seem to dominate the majority of people. At the time it was all I had to go on.

The Story of Gillian Lynne

            The story of a little girl. The little girl was constantly getting into trouble in the classroom at school. She was talking at the wrong times. Appeared not to have any prolonged concentration abilities. And was deemed generally disruptive. Unable to sit still, Gillian had earned the nickname Wriggle Bottom. Gillian felt hopeless, her teachers were exasperated, and her mother was at the end of her tether.

            Gillian’s mother persevering took her to a psychologist. After some discussion among the three of them, the psychologist turned on the radio and told the little girl that he and her mother needed to leave the room for a moment. They left the room, waited a few moments, and peeked in. The little girl was joyously dancing to the music. The doctor looked at the mom and said your little girl is a dancer. Her mother enrolled her daughter in an arts school that included dancing and the little girl became very successful. Finally finding other children that she could relate to. And express herself with movement.

This story really moves me because I love to create. I believed I had no choice. That in order to survive in this world I must conform to common hour thinking. Discovering new ideas used to feel much more difficult. Not knowing what I’m not seeing or not seeing what is there, due to my thinking or perception. I’m grateful for a new perspective.

Today, having my new and increasingly aware perspectives, I have experienced great relief. I credit this enlightenment to the study and practice of Science of Mind. This study increases my abilities to explore new tools to guide me in my exploration of the multiverse.

–Chris Wheeler

GOT WORRIES

I do. My guess is that you do too. It’s been said, “Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything.” “Let your worries go.” Yeah right. I’m working on that.

Why do we worry especially when it keeps us in a state of anxiety and uncertainty? I don’t know for sure, but I think it is a learned behavior that became a habit. It’s what we know how to do well. Most of us have had a lot of practice and experience worrying. I think we worry at times because it shows care & concern for others. “I was worried about you!” We worry ourselves into a tizzy and sometimes even get sick from it.

But how can we not worry? I don’t know. I’m still working on that. What I do know is I have many practices that have helped to ease my worries over the years:

•      I mentally throw my worries into the church service and leave them there to dissolve into a sacred space. I remind myself, ‘wherever I am, I am in sacred space.’
•     I have a Worry Basket that I mentally throw my worries into to dissolve. (See picture of the Burden Basket. It was used for gathering crops and once a woman returned home, she would hang her basket on the front door. Those that considered their home a sacred space, the basket was a symbol that visitors were to leave all their worries, anger, and negative emotions in the basket before entering to protect the space.)
•    I use a prayer box that I have o my nightstand when a worry is
creating insomnia.
•    I practice Worry on Wednesday. I remind myself to only worry on Wednesday between 12 and 2 pm.
•    I remind myself that the great majority of what I worry about never happens. The little bit that does, really isn’t as bad as I worried about.
•    I attend our morning meditation regularly and surround myself with like-minded friends.
•   I study the Science of Mind.

o Faith is the only complete answer to our worries-faith in something greater than we are”-Ernest Holmes- How to stop worrying. This PDF available from Science of Mind Archives
o “We must heal ourselves from worry. This tension is relaxed as we gain confidence in good, in truth and in beauty.”- Ernest Holmes Science of Mind 245.3

This haiku was written during morning meditation by Susan Seid:

“Release all worry
In God’s hands, troubles dissolve
Lay them down, have faith”

–Madeline Pallanes

live evil

A couple of weeks ago there was a Zoom discussion with Reverend Janis on evil. In the Science of Mind philosophy, there is no evil, only God. So, the task is to wrap my mind around war, famine, etc. as God. I love the way evil when spelled backwards is live, and that devil is lived backwards. This gives me the idea that some experiences are life affirming (live) and others are not life affirming. It is my choice on how I view those experiences. Seeing an experience from my human view changes perspective when I look at the bigger picture, a spiritual view. The image that comes to mind is earth from space. I don’t see good nor bad, I just see what is. It is a stretch to rise above the human conditioning where I see things as black or white, good or bad, to shift and see everything as God.

During the discussion the Chinese proverb “we’ll see” was mentioned. A farmer has a variety of experiences, which his neighbors see them as the worst, or the best experience, not as being neutral. The farmer’s reply after each of the neighbors’ opinions was ‘we’ll see.” The neighbors had the microcosm view, and the farmer had the macrocosm view.

I think of the bible verse “temptation is the root of all evil” and what is temptation, but a choice. Just because a thought is in my mind doesn’t mean I have to act on it. There is still the option of yes or no. And this is where an examined life comes in, the choice of an examined life and to live in a higher consciousness. I also don’t have to like or agree with the decisions others have made. We do have the feelings of fear and love. I see war, discrimination, not seeing God in everyone, everything, as a choice of fear.

When the war in Ukraine started, I just wanted kidnap all the bullies in the world and stick them on an island where they could duke it out. Let them see what it feels like to live under the conditions they are forcing others to live under. I expressed this in Practitioner class and thought I was going to get expelled! And on further thought I thought of Putin and he doesn’t see God in everyone, because if he did, I don’t think he would treat people the way he does. It made me think how lonely he must be, to not feel Oneness.

Thinking about difficult, hard to see God in everything/everywhere situations, I go back to the seed metaphor and extend it a bit. To get flowers, you need good, rich soil, compost, and compost is made with manure. But the manure can’t be used when it is fresh, or it will kill the flowers, it takes time to decompose breakdown before the nutrients of growth enable the flowers to flourish. From pain grows compassion.

Bob Sima’s song, No Mud No Lotus (inspired by Thich Nat Hahn’s book with the same name) is a tune that has accompanied my thoughts lately. Some of the lyrics are below.

No mud no lotus haven’t you noticed
The patterns of the pain in your past
The things that broke you, they also awoke you
To the questions you needed to ask
The sleepless nights and the dizzying heights
And the dreams some of which came true

Tough breaks, heartaches, perfect mistakes
Created this version of you
Everything you go through grows you, exposes who you are…

The wound is where the light gets in
Revealing the masterpiece just beneath the skin
In the glow of your own light, your petals open wide
You bloom right where you are

Everything you go through grows you, exposes who you are

–Maria

Science Of Mind and Skiing

The mention of downhill skiing elicits a myriad of reactions from people. Many people have a story to tell or an opinion to communicate. I have been skiing since I was in elementary school. So I have talked about skiing with many people in my fifty some years of negotiating the slopes.

While learning to ski people often struggle to stay in control. Some feel fear because conditions are different than they are accustomed to. Concerns turn to worry about the terrible things that could happen as the relationship to friction changes.

As knowledge, experience and strength increase, the fear is replaced with the comfort of knowing how to take action and get results.

Eventually they decide to take the next greater challenge and try out the next larger hill.
Standing at the top of that next hill there is uncertainty. The perspective has changed and the world view is much larger. The potential success could be overshadowed by more fear and doubt. Followed by removing their skis and walking down the hill.

Or they could turn and face downhill and practice their skills to navigate in a new way gaining more experience. There is always some risk that things may end in an unfavorable way. The law of gravity does not change.

My experience on the slopes has helped keep me calm but every ski run has some uncertainty.

Adopting a mental practice of finding a way to relax and allow the experience of the moment and a smooth run is optimal. This is the way I choose to approach the practices of SOM. Mental practice builds the knowledge experience that allows for comfort and confidence to negotiate the world knowing that the Law operates regardless of what type of initial conditions are offered.

SOM the Law is the vehicle that changes thought into action.

“The possibilities of the Law are infinite, and our possibilities of using It are limitless.
— Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind 271.2

“The way to work is to begin right where we are and, through constantly applying ourselves to the truth, we gradually increase in wisdom and understanding, for in this way alone will good results be obtained. — Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind 271.4

–Chris Wheeler

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