To rue: to regret
To ruLe: to control, hold dominion over
To rue – Don’t we all have way too close a relationship with that reaction? Words we’d unsay or say, actions we’d undo or do, or choices we’d change. But we can’t. All that is spilled milk, water under the bridge, etc.
For me, I’m learning- sometimes the hard way — regretting is acceptable only so far as it alerts me to something I need to learn. And given that most of these lessons are not math, photography or cool science tidbits, I have tended not to pay attention. Which leads to repeated rue or regretting of the same unlearned lesson.
The change I’m working on is to change “rue” to “ruLe” and yes the capital “L” is on purpose. Because the difference is Love. And that Love is of/for me in all my ways. In ALL my ways of being, because not all of them are immediately apparent as perfect to me. In fact, sometimes it takes a while to get to the knowing of the perfection of it. Although the quicker I stop the regretting and work on the learning, the faster I understand the ‘good’ of it for me.
Raised in a small town which had very specific modes of approved behavior, dress and omg in thinking, in a seriously Catholic family there was from the beginning a solid structure of rules and behavior embedded deeply within me. Though I left the small town and the Catholic Church in college and locked it away at 21 when I married and moved to New York City, 50 years later I’m still finding remnants of those days in my guidance system.
As many of you know, my work to find, consider and keep, or remove those remnants is by writing every day. Which is immensely strengthened by the teachings I’ve discovered and embraced at CSLT.
Those teachings help bring the capital “L” into Rue and to change it to “RuLe”. I leave the capital to remind me always that the difference is Love.
That Love has also taught me the value of a community that shares the same realization.
Doing one’s own work is required, but only by learning from others who have gone before as well as those currently striving to learn and accept/change/grow do any of us grow into the better individual which makes a better citizen.
That is to move from regretting the past to RuLing the day. To having dominion over my self. Only by learning to Love my self can I add the “L” that maximizes my Life. Only by RuLing myself do I become the unique gift that I can be, and each of us can be to our self, our community our universe.
It is that last part that has taken me the longest to learn. The stronger I am in my True self, the better citizen I become to my community and to the universe. It is by learning to honestly express my unique gifts that I contribute the maximum to my own growth, and then to those I Love.
So, my special thanks this season go to all the people who’ve taught me — to be like OR to not be like. I’m learning to Love them all alongside myself.
–May your holiday season be joyous. Peace, Mariann