Stepping Out and Up By
Living in New York City for 35 years – a highly visual and colorful city – I particularly like Dr. Holmes when he uses especially vivid language to state that the responsibility for my Life is mine – all mine – AND only mine. It helps me remember the lesson.
“… The fact that our foot may be in a mud puddle now need not concern us for we can step to higher ground. We need to do this rather than to sit down with our foot still in the puddle and bemoan our situation, carefully noting in our mind every step we took which led us to our predicament, and probably finding ourselves sinking deeper into the mire rather than getting out of it.” Ernest Holmes & Willis Kinnear. A New Design for Living (pp. 95-96).
That “stepping to higher ground” requires knowing not only that it exists, but it is within reach. Always already available. After 6 years of being around CSLT, I am finding the truth of that. As I’ve been taught, it’s simple, but not easy.
Persistent consistence are my bywords for moving out of the puddle and onto drier always somewhat higher ground. My house is papered with post-its reminding me to pay attention to now and to stay aware of and avoid the default state of mind that can so easily plop me right back into that puddle. The notes work better when I read them regularly.
Two weeks ago, in class (New Design for Living), Maria reminded us of the 5 ways to avoid any hole in our way. (The complete version of this is by Portia Nelson and follows this blog.)
Here’s my summary:
1- I see a hole and walk into it; complain, cry unfair, and eventually drag out of it.
2- I see it again and walk into it, say oh no, not again and begin crawling out.
3- I see it and walk into it, know it is my fault, and leave immediately.
4- I see it and walk around it.
5- I take a different path altogether.
Change is up to me, and I know that. I also know that the path and the changing are easier when I share it with like-minded individuals. The reminders on Sunday, chatting as we set-up and put away Sunday Service essentials, the small times we are together and share, the delighted laughter at some of the music choices these and so many more instances of sharing and caring provide the energy to reach up and out to that higher ground.
Thank you all for all the help in my stepping up and out.
–In Peace, Mariann
Continue reading for “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
Copyright (c) 1993, by Portia Nelson from the book There’s A Hole in My Sidewalk.