It’s OK to Feel OK!
It is okay to feel okay! In fact, it is even okay to be happy! My 89-year-old mother says that we feel guilty feeling happy when so many people are sad and when there are so many problems in the world. It is like a survivor’s guilt. If I am happy, does it mean that I do not care about global warming? Does it mean that I do not think it is important if the school kidnappings in Africa have included children as young as 4? Do I not express my concern through my feelings of distress?
I still struggle with this ingrained belief, but continue to focus on living in the belief of “All As Spirit” helps me feel some relief. I work hard at feeling good. The decision to feel good that does not always translate into the emotion. However, I also decide to act in ways that promote happiness.
During a recent “Roots of the Science of Mind” class, Rev. Janis began the session with a video in which there was a regular recitation of Neville Goddard’s meditation, “Isn’t it wonderful?” The goal was to experience a feeling of wonder and joy. In Resilient, the book we’re using in the June book study, there are short experiential exercises on grabbing hold of a happy feeling and basking in it. With both of those examples, I was not able to translate the feeling into a happy feeling or even a pleasant experience. It is like I tamp down those feelings.
Two weeks ago, I talked to my therapist about those experiences. I practice EMDR with her which is a treatment modality designed to free one of stuck emotional reactions by processing traumatic experiences that, in effect, get stuck in our psyche. I have found the process extremely helpful. My therapist talked to me about asking the Universe for help in feeling good and being willing to surrender fear. I wrote that on the back of the index card that I have by my PC with Emma Curtis Hopkins’ quote from page 96 of Scientific Christian Mental Practice, “I do believe that my God now works with, through, by and as me, to make me omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient. I have faith in God. I have the faith of God.”
Daily, I have been asking the Divine for a sense of connection. This is also where I allow myself to recognize myself as the Divine and then surrender fear. What surrendering fear looks like to me is to relax and spend money that I used to hoard. We tithe on our personal income, and I pay the handful of medical bills that accumulate every few months. I allow myself to take money from an account where I have stashed it. My fear is often around financial lack which I imagine and then pull into me. For the last two weeks, I have been happier and have relaxed more. I repeat to myself when challenges arise that it is okay to feel okay. It is even okay to feel happy. I plan on reading the book and attending Rev. Janis’s class on resilience. Perhaps I will have a different experience this time.
–Marya Wheeler