Category: inspiration

“Stupid hurts, and it should.” (Graves’ Law #97)

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“This Is How It Works”

“Stupid hurts, and it should.” (Graves’ Law #97)

When we do something against the Laws of Nature, or against our true nature or values, we suffer… and we should. This valuable feedback gives us the information, and possibly the motivation we need, to change.

What’s interesting to observe is that the hurting escalates if we don’t pay attention.

Initially, we get feedback from our emotions and/or feelings. We feel emotional discomfort or upset, and this could be as vague as an internal “stirring” or something more specific as anxiety.

If we don’t listen, then it escalates, and we get feedback in our environment: in our affairs, at home, at work, in the world around us, etc. It shows up as “noise”, chaos, “failure”, defeat, resistance, etc.

If we don’t pay attention and listen, then it escalates further, and we get feedback in our body. It shows up as chronic and/or acute pain, disease, sickness, and/or with other physical symptoms. The body is the first and the last place where the Universe gives us both our first and our last chance to wake up to the thinking that is out of whack. If we continue and do not listen to the feedback of disease, we move into an even deeper phase.

Since the Universe “loves” us and gives us to ourselves so totally and continually, It is willing to kill the body and let us start all over again. The Universe escalates the feedback until we get it, up to and including our getting to “start over”.

Paying attention to this process can encourage all of us to pay more attention to the various kinds of feedback presented to us, and therefore, help us to find ways to live more congruently and joyfully.

I trust you will choose to enjoy your process.

Reverend Donald Graves
(Excerpted and expanded from Graves’ Laws: Aphorisms to Live By, by Donald Graves)

The Power of Receiving in a Season of Giving By Amanda Owen

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Cover_Power_of_ReceivingHalloween is the coming attractions preview of the holidays. Those little witches, ghosts, and goblins will soon morph into angels, wise men, and reindeer, and the candy you gave in October will give way to more expensive gift-giving in December.

While the old proverb tells us it is better to give than receive, countless people bemoan the absence of grateful receivers. Thank you letters seem to be a relic of the past and expressions of gratitude are often drowned out in a sea of complaints about what is wrong with the world.

When you get back nothing or little in response to what you give, it’s natural to feel mystified or even resentful. Interestingly, our culture spends a lot of time on the value of giving, while little attention is paid to receiving. Yet, for every giver there is a receiver. And when something is not received well—whether it is candy, a gift, or a compliment—we notice!

With a little time left before the holiday season arrives, it’s not too late to strengthen your ability to receive and help your children brush up on their receiving skills. Here are three simple steps that will help you receive as well as you give:

1. Notice what people do for you and thank them.
Don’t think for a second that a lack of acknowledgment or a refusal to receive is not noticed by the person who gave! When we don’t receive graciously, we thwart an opportunity for connection and prevent a mutually satisfying transaction from occurring.

The simple expression of gratitude is one of the ways that we give back to the giver. It feels good for our giving to be received and it makes us want to give again! Here are a few ideas to help you practice saying thank you:

• Thank the grocery clerk for putting the food in the bag.
• Thank the bank teller for saying, “Have a nice day.”
• Thank the driver who waves at you to go first at the stop sign.
• Thank the waiter for bringing you coffee.
• Thank your cat for using the litter box.
• Thank your coworker for saying, “Have a great weekend.”
• Thank your houseplants for their beauty.

2. Accept compliments.
When people pay you a compliment, do you downplay what they are saying about you? Or do you thank them? If someone wants to do something for you, do you say something like, “Oh, you don’t need to do that! I can handle it myself!”

Many people are uncomfortable accepting compliments and then wonder why people aren’t kinder or don’t help them out more. Receiving something as simple as a compliment is a huge statement about your willingness to receive the good things in life.

Even if you are uncomfortable accepting a compliment, kind words, or a gift, note that feeling and receive it. But still say, “Thank you.” Here are a few ways to graciously respond to a compliment:

• Thanks!
• It’s so nice of you to notice!
• I really appreciate that!
• How sweet of you to say that!
• It’s great to hear such encouraging words!
• How lovely of you to acknowledge that!
• You made my day!

3. Start a gratitude journal.
To be grateful is to be receptive to life’s abundance. Gratitude is a state of mind, a way of seeing life, of noticing and relating to life. There are those who have an overall attitude of gratitude. Conversely, some people are rarely grateful—even when people bend over backward to give to them.

Appreciation and gratitude come from inside a person as a way of looking at life, as a way of being in life. It is completely independent of external circumstances. Start a journal where you can record every day at least five things for which you feel grateful.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• I am grateful for my morning coffee.
• I am grateful for the beautiful tree in my front yard.
• I am grateful that my husband received a job promotion.
• I am grateful for the recommendation my friend gave me for a massage therapist.
• I am grateful that my sister is content in her life.
• I am grateful for my home.
• I am grateful that I have been feeling better

Someone once said, “Life is a marathon.” Through all of life’s peaks and valleys, there are people who help make the journey a little brighter and a lot more fun.

When you express your appreciation, when you respond graciously to compliments, offers of help, gifts (and candy!) you not only strengthen your relationship bonds, you create a life where people want to give to you as much as you give to them. You create a two-way street, giving sometimes and receiving at other times.

This holiday season, receive from the people who give to you. Listen to what they say, notice what they do, and most of all, respond with a sincere ‘thank you!’

Amanda Owen is the guest speaker at our Sunday Celebration Service on October 12, 2014. Join us. She is also the author of The Power of Receiving and Born to Receive.

Spiritual Oneness Through Music

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How wonderful it is to observe and think about the many different ways people may walk a spiritual path, and the different places along that road where one can find oneself. This is not an either/or proposition, but rather an opportunity to exercise the power of choice among the many options available. Depending upon what someone needs at any given moment, different approaches can fill that need.

There are times on the journey when one needs inspiration or guidance or a change in perspective, or maybe a deeper realization of love while working through a life situation. Sometimes what’s missing is the mystical and transcendent experience of oneness: that deep realization of truth where everything shifts and one experiences everything as perfect, as divine, as God in everything and everyone.

As each spiritual center, church, synagogue or mosque finds their unique way of talking about and fulfilling these human needs, more people can experience a depth and richness in the teachings and feel invited into a deeper acceptance and understanding of the Infinite.

Music is one of the most effective tools in facilitating the spiritual journey, and it is a powerful avenue by which all teachings and philosophies can find common ground and provide inspiration, a deepened realization of love, joy and peace and sometimes, between the notes and lyrics, that transient experience of the mystery comes, joining everyone in the divine. What a sweet place that is…especially when shared with others.

Three spectacular and unifying musicians, David Roth, Jana Stanfield and Richard Mekdeci, will offer the first Tucson emPower Music PosiPalooza Concert, from 6 to 9 p.m., September 21, at Donald R. Nickerson Performing Arts Center, in Tucson.

Admission is $20, or two for $35. Concert location: 3231 N. Craycroft Rd. Buy tickets at empowerma.com/upcomingevents or at Center for Spiritual Living Tucson, Unity Spiritual Center for Peace and Unity of Tucson on Sundays.

Blessings, Reverend Donald

Using Imagination and Will

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Having run across this following tidbit today, I thought it very appropriate for consideration given our theme for June: “Imagination and Will”.

“We take our point of view so much for granted, as if the world were really as we see it. But it doesn’t take much analysis to recognize that our way of seeing the world is simply an old unexamined habit, so strong, so convincing, and so unconscious we don’t even see it as a habit. How many times have we been absolutely sure about someone’s motivations and later discovered that we were completely wrong? How many times have we gotten upset about something that turned out to have been nothing? Our perceptions and opinions are often quite off the mark. The world may not be as we think it is. In fact, it is virtually certain that it is not.” (Norman Fischer, Training in Compassion: Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong, pg. 63)

How many times have you taken a piece of information and built it into its own false universe, only to find out later that the information you had was mistaken? You thought something happened, and maybe you took offense or felt hurt or diminished by it, when in fact it never happened at all, or it happened very differently than you thought.

Huge suffering can come from a misuse of imagination and will, and no one is exempted from doing this. We all have done it at one time or another. The key to sanity must be in understanding how to do this differently.

While thinking on Fischer’s quotation, I considered some questions:

How might I rightly use my imagination and will?

How can I use my imagination and will FOR my benefit, as well as for the benefit of those around me?

What if I use my imagination and will to “create” a world that works for everyone; where everyone respects differences and looks for connections and relatedness, instead of focusing on the differences. Since we all live in the same human bucket, how might I use my creativity to assist all of us more effectively getting along and finding mutual joy?

The questions continue to help my mind explore, and so far, I only have a few answers. This tells me that more answers are on their way and more joy is unfolding each minute. I think the beginning is to become ever more aware of how I am using my imagination, and how I am applying my will to those imaginings.

BestBlessings,

Reverend Donald Graves

How to Master Time: 5 Steps to Living a Timeless and Powerfully-Creative Life by Howard Falco

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Thinking About Time - Falco

Thinking About Time

It may be time for our idea of time to change.

Time is our most precious resource, yet each year, we seem to have less and less of it as our lives get busier and busier. Every day, we have a new set of tasks to complete and there are now so many distractions, and there is so much information coming at us on a daily basis, it’s no wonder we have lost that precious state of just enjoying the moment. A whole world of people now have their heads buried in their cell phones for most of the waking day and more than they’d like to admit during the wake-filled night. We have become digital information junkies. The result is a stressed-out, energy-drained state of mind, body and spirit. As a result, we have lost a big sense of peace and contentment with ourselves and the world around us.

What if you looked at time not from the perspective of time being limited but rather from the perspective of time being unlimited? What if you came to realize that your experience of time and how things all come together for you are actually rooted in how you interpret yourself and the world?

Mastering time is about learning to understand and trust the process of life. Faith is the word that comes to mind — except this is not a religiously-defined faith or a blind faith I’m talking about here but rather a faith in a universe that has literally birthed you into existence. Through endless years of evolution and trillions and trillions of transformations of the atoms and molecules in existence, you are the magnificent and perfect result.

How can you not trust that the universe will continue to support you on your journey?

The way you answer this is a big part of mastering time. A greater trust with life allows you to go through life with less fear and a more peaceful faith, so all you need, from the standpoint of your awareness, will be provided as you journey towards your creative intentions. This does not mean you do not take action towards your intentions each day, but rather, you do so from a state of less pressure and more peace. You act from a state of mind of less anxiety around the question of “when” to more of a state of knowing and trusting that life will guide you. By using this mental approach, time is no longer seen as limited, but rather, each moment is seen as an opportunity to work with life and learn from all the challenges that come your way.

This is a powerful state of mind to be in, and it has a direct positive impact on your experience of time.

With this approach, what once seemed like a struggle to achieve actually becomes easier. Rather than feeling like you are swimming against the current each day or feeling pressed for time, you live from a more trusting, faithful mindset that puts you in more of the flow of life. You may then marvel at how what you want to have happen comes to you more naturally and without you having to force it or pressure it to occur.

If you knew how powerful you really are you would never stop smiling.

The way in which you look at yourself and life is really what has the biggest impact on your daily experience of it. In order to truly master time, you must be willing to open yourself up to a new way of looking at it.

Below are five steps to living a more timeless and powerfully creative life.

1. Immediately stop living in regret. Eliminate the lies of “woulda, coulda and shoulda” from your mind and your vocabulary. Stop worrying about what you did yesterday. Instead, accept who you are now in this moment and focus your creative energy on honoring this newfound acceptance.

2. Trust that there is a reason for every challenge and circumstance. Even if you don’t understand why, allow the space to embrace the notion that things are happening for you, not to you. There is a certain timing to everything that comes into existence. Having expectations of the universe for what you want and when you want it actually works to add time to your journey.

3. Be present as much as possible. Every person, situation and moment has a message to offer you. If you aren’t present or you are moving too fast, you are going to miss this valuable information life is presenting you and thereby stretch your learning curve — which in turn stretches time.

4. Learn to act on your initial instincts. These instant thoughts are usually providing the fastest way from A to B as it relates to what you want. Don’t resist this knowing when it arises, thereby, giving your mind time to think twice about it or talk you out of it. Utilize your instinct more and learn to have the faith to just go with it.

5. Build the faith to see time is never wasted. Each moment has purpose. Realize that even when nothing seems to be happening, below the surface, in the places you cannot directly see, things are moving in your favor. This helps dissolve fear, resistance and pressure and increases the crucial energy of faith. The more you can come to embrace that for this moment this is exactly where you are supposed to be on the journey, the more powerful you will become.

Mastering the precious commodity of time is not as much about the organization of time, but rather, it’s much more powerfully about the attitude you hold about yourself and how this attitude affects every happening in your life. Awakening to see the sacred connection between these two things by slowing down enough to be more present is ironically the beginning of a new and much faster way of putting time on your side.

Follow Howard Falco on Twitter: www.twitter.com/howardfalco

(This content was first published on 4/24/14 on the Huffington Post)

“NO” and “YES” by Janet St. Marie

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Well, this week I was given a gift that I didn’t even know was being handed to me. It all started February 9th, in the message about Love of Self, when Reverend Donald Graves told us of that two-letter word which is so important in self-care – “No.”

The NO required in self-care.

The NO required in self-care.started February 9th, in the message about Love of Self, when Reverend Donald Graves told us of that two-letter word which is so important in self-care – “No.”

“No.” That’s it? “No?”

Just that very word shut me down. I am a master at saying “No”, since all my life I’ve said it– but mainly to myself. Everyone else got a “Yes.” And consequently my boundaries, if they even existed, were devastatingly ignored.

Reverend Donald’s emphatic call to use the word “No” in our practice of self-care was urging us to absolutely and unequivocally halt the disrespect of anyone’s self-appointed judgments violating our personal boundaries; and that this is an act of love for ourselves. I got that. I really did.

But I wanted to hear how THAT particular “No” to the judgments and demands of others was really a “Yes” to the truly most beautifully powerful Self that we are…how THIS “Yes” frees us to be the boundless expression of the great and mighty God that we are.

I have heard Reverend Donald say it before, that there’s a “Yes” behind every “No”; that our “No” helps to redirect the way something is going, and keeps our “Yes” the priority. If I truly say “Yes” to life, my “No’s” to destructive behavior keep me on track in choosing life and living.

I wanted to hear that “Yes” part again, but it didn’t come in that morning’s message. So I had to find it for myself. And that was the gift. It took a good five days. And my disappointment (no judgment on my part. Oh, no, not me!) at not being spoon fed that nugget was the impetus I needed to strive for that nugget; to seal it into my consciousness, and to begin living my life from there.

What a wonderful process it was – very much like unwrapping a surprise gift.

And now I’m feelin’ the love.

Thank you, Reverend Donald.

This is the Season

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This is the season when many find themselves struggling with how to get on in life. Maybe the holiday season brings up past negative memories, or maybe there is simply a lot going on. It’s been said, “Trouble comes in three’s,” and sometimes, it seems like Trouble doesn’t stop there.

When I was asked to offer some words of encouragement by someone who is facing several life-challenges simultaneously, the following suggestions flowed onto the page. Over these many years, I have found that all of them work, but whether they “land” for you, Dear Reader, based on however much is roiling around in your mind, only you will be able to say. If you can implement all of them at once, you’re probably not as bad off as you think you are. Just pick one per day, or one per hour, or one that resonates with you in any given moment. Even that much can make a big difference.

Keep breathing. Nothing can change if we are not around to help change it. That’s the reality of this existence. Tough times go away, if we participate in their going away. When we bail, they stick around…and usually follow us wherever we go.

Keep loving. Which means, keep talking, keep hugging and keep nurturing those around you, starting with yourself. How to do that? It depends. First, we have to know what we really need. This may take some time to figure out, but it’s time well spent. Second, we need to realize that needs can change, moment to moment. Long-range needs matter the most, but the “needs of the now” are important, too. Third, we have to be able to accept whatever feeds that need if it’s given, because if it is offered, we have to let it in, in order for that need be filled. Ask for a hug, if that’s the need. Ask for quiet time, if that’s the need. Ask for what you need when you need it…and this may take some practice.

Eat. Nourishing the body is vital, while it helps us do the inner work. During tough times, food may be tasteless and uninteresting. However, the body needs air, light, fuel and water. It’s another of those realities of this plane of existence. Feed and water it. It doesn’t have to be anything spectacular, but eating is important.
Rest. I won’t say, “Sleep,” because sleep may not come easily in difficult times. But rest is as important as food and air and water. Rest is in the baseline of Maslow’s hierarchy for a reason.

Keep talking. Let the words that are inside come out. Sometimes they may be garbled; sometimes they may be brilliant pieces of wisdom. Sometimes they reveal the reality of whatever is going on in such a way, that it becomes obvious that things aren’t so bad. If talking with someone is not possible, talk with yourself. Write. Write down the conversation that needs to be spoken. Write down the conundrums that bubble up. Getting whatever’s inside out, is as important as evacuating the bowel. When we “plug up”, we dam ourselves. Keep the flow flowing.

Get outside. Take a walk. Breathe the fresh air. Feel the sun on your face. Gaze at the stars or watch the moon for a while. Nature nurtures. We are part of Nature, and to the degree that we physically connect with It, It will nurture us, because we are part of It.

Do something. Anything. If any or all of this is too hard, mop the floor. Clean the toilet. Rake leaves or rocks or dirt. Do something, and then acknowledge that you did that something. We only believe we have the power to do anything, by doing something and recognizing that we did that something. The mind is a funny and tricky companion, and it’s important to use it the way it works. Do something and acknowledge even the little things accomplished, and the mind begins to think differently about itself. Think something positive, even if you don’t really believe it when you think it. Think it enough, and sooner or later, that thinking becomes believable. Doing and thinking and feeling are all connected, and by realizing this, you will begin to feel the truth of it…and then one day, seemingly all of a sudden, the light is brighter, and there is an awareness inside that this ‘Tis the Season of Joy and not something else.

Love&BlessingsOnYouAll.
Rev Donald

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