“We cannot live a choiceless life. Every day, every moment, every second, there is choice. If it were not so, we would not be individuals.” Science of Mind p.143.3

I recently listened to Eugene Holden’s self-Mastery Academy podcast (episode 4) with Rev. Melissa Moorer-Nobles, and they were talking about connecting with our Yes! The conversation quickly turned to the power of our No! Rev. Melissa shared a job she said yes to, despite her knowing it was not the job of joy she had declared she wanted. Within three weeks, she knew her yes should have been no, and she left the job. The topic turned to why we say “yes” when we should be saying “no”.

In our teaching, we are urged to the “yes” side of things; say yes to the opportunity, say yes to Spirit! Sometimes, however, saying no is more aligned with our goals and desires. Why do we say yes when we know we should be saying no? For me, some answers are fear you won’t like me if I say no, or that I will disappoint you, FOMO (fear of missing out), guilt, a sense of duty or obligation, or a need to fix a situation. Saying yes when I mean no results in unhappiness, selfcriticism, and growing resentments. It can also be a confirmation that yes, I really did not want that.

We’ve heard the saying, “‘No’ is a complete sentence.” When we say no to something, we often follow it with an explanation of why we’re saying no, when no reason is necessary. In her book, Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch, Elizabeth Hilts suggests using the phrase, “I don’t think so” when having to turn a request down. No explanation and no excuse, it is a simple “I” statement that says no politely, leaving no room for push back.

“Our correct choice will be part of the working of the Law. All doubt and fear must go and, in their place, must come a faith and confidence, for we shall be led by the Spirit into all good. SOM, p.272.2

To get in touch with our “sacred no,” we must first be clear about our goals, desires, and values. Is saying ‘yes’ to this in alignment with my highest good? Am I saying ‘yes’ out of fear, guilt, obligation, or need? We must also examine if our ‘no’ is aligned with our highest good. Am I saying ‘no’ out of fear, smallness, safety, or not wanting to change? Being still and going within helps us center into the right choice.

“If we have to make a choice and feel we do not know which or what to choose, we must be still in our own consciousness and know that the Spirit within us knows which of these ways is the right, and most constructive way, and will guide us.” SOM, p. 273.1

A lot is going on in the world to say no to racism, deportations, stripping of our government, and leaders who don’t seem to have the people’s best interests at heart, to name but a few. It occurs to me that as I contemplate owning my no, I am simultaneously saying yes to human rights, democracy, honesty, and integrity. For everything I say no to, I am saying yes to something greater that is wanting to be called into expression.

–Sharon Whealy, RScP