What Do We Do When…??
Both my sister and father have passed into their next phase of beingness in the past 6 months. Because I was my father’s sole caregiver, my daily life has drastically changed. I am tired — mentally, emotional and physically. I find myself pondering the question “What next?”
In the past I have been good at manifesting. I find it easy. Usually I think about what it is that I desire, and then I feel what that feels like… Really feel it, let it go and voila! Energies shift and anticipated change occurs! A perfect example of Science of Mind and affirmative prayer in action. Every time. We know this stuff works.
In this moment, I am at a loss. I find myself hungering for something that I cannot put my finger on. I believe that there is a “law of spirit which brings greater peace, comfort and joy into our experience” (from A Suggested Experiment by Ernest Holmes), but there is a part of me that is not willing to trust the unknown. There is a huge sense of security in what is familiar, and when that falls away, I feel insecure and uncertain. It seems that we humans, even the most enlightened among us — even those who believe they are open to change often are surprised to discover how much we resist ‘it’ when something familiar begins to change in a big way. I am doing that, resisting. I know this resistance is born of fear.
I find myself wondering what it is, that I don’t know. When I am at the edge of all that I understand, what is it that I cannot imagine? I want to go there, to move beyond the things that feel safe in the hopes of opening up to the next level of understanding. I feel that there is a lot that is clearing and moving in my own life and on the planet. And I am certain (at some level), all the outcomes are positive, even if unimaginable, to me.
So I have decided to stay in the now moment, trusting that all is proceeding according to a Divine plan for me and for the earth. I am remembering that there is only One. As I stop and wait and dwell in that One, I allow the emotions of confusion, depression, sadness and sorrow to flow through me without resistance. I notice the sensations, bless them and let them go. I am beginning to see that the pervading belief system here on earth represents an evolution towards something unknown to us, as yet.
What if our current collective pervading belief system rests on the lowest rung of a very expansive, multi-dimensional and many-faceted ladder?
I accept that we can only be as awake as we are right now, and that there is no longer any need to seek and search outwardly for what is already fully present within. Even if I don’t have any experience of it. I trust the process that everything proceeds according to plan and I wait with excited expectation for that which I, at this time cannot imagine.
By Sheila Campbell