You Can’t Give Others What You Don’t Have
Saturday, I woke up feeling very humanly grumpy, no divinity in sight (or in my mindset). I know for me, meditation makes my “mind right” (reference to Cool Hand Luke movie). I lay down and was quickly joined by BuBu (pronounced Boo Boo, my cat). When I closed my eyes to aid my focus, there was a very old “friend” of mine – loneliness. I was missing people. I work from home, so my home has me, and BuBu.
I decided to call a dear friend that I owed a phone call. (I have 3 friends that live elsewhere in the US that I talk to by phone 4 times a year, the Equinoxes and Solstices). Since Spring Equinox happened last week, I needed to call. It was a great call to a dear friend that lives in San Francisco that I have known since I was a teenager. She and I have the Renaissance Faire connection, that’s where we met. It was great to talk with her, as the Bay Area is one of the places I call home. Anyhow, after the call, I felt the loneliness even more so!
In a split second I made a decision. After recognizing that my body felt tired and some aches and pains, I decided not to spend my Saturday wallowing in the ocean depths of loneliness and thinking about the past pulling me into a depressive funk for the day – no not on what I call Sacred Saturday! It is a fun day where Shelly gets to play! Even though my body was arguing for me to just feel sorry for myself, I turned on a brand new guided mediation under the subject of “Happiness” on my Insight Timer app. When I started focusing on my breath as I was instructed to do from the guided mediation, I reminded myself that it was Sacred Saturday and it was time for fun!
During this particular guided meditation it talked about smiling and I don’t even remember how it happened but I got out of my own way and at the end of the guided meditation I was smiling and Peace was in me! After the guided meditation was over, I said a treatment with the intention of keeping the peace within and happiness filling my here and now always and in all ways.
Later in the day, I was driving around town and there was an elderly man with an old Rottweiler dog with him standing on the intersection median panhandling. As soon as I saw him I broke out in a smile and tears went down my face! I remembered the $5 I keep in my car for emergencies. There was lots of traffic but my heart was overflowing with joy to give this man the $5. This kind of thing has never happened to me before. Yes, my heart has overflowed with love for dogs, but this joy and compassionate love was for the man! I quickly rolled down my window and gave him the $5. He quickly said “God Bless You! I am a preacher!” I just smiled. My heart felt ablaze of energy! That heart chakra was wide open!!!!
I cried happy tears home and felt very happy inside like an explosion of glitter twinkling all around me!
Sunday. Sundays I don’t wake up to an electronic alarm. I have a different alarm named BuBu. Despite having blackout curtains, she knows when it’s 6 am (that’s sleeping in because on weekdays/workdays I get up at 5 am.) I’m up early to do my laundry because it is usually quiet in the apartment complex’s laundry room and no one else is there. This was not so true this morning.
Inside the laundry room there was a fellow with a dog. He was struggling to put his laundry into a washer. Kona, his dog, found me very interesting. I noticed the fellow was having difficulty putting his laundry in the machine while hold onto the dog’s leash. I offered to hold the leash. The fellow agreed. So Kona and I had a few moments of happy interaction and I did my usual “good girl” talk to her. The fellow started chatting with me about his plans for the day as I put my laundry in the dryers. He thanked me for taking care of Kona and I said no worries. As I came out the same fellow was there filling up his water jugs at the filtered water machine. I can’t remember how it started but what stayed with me as I write this is that he talked about being tired of caring and taking care of others and he is now taking care of himself! I responded with “You can’t give others what you don’t have.” The fellow stopped and looked at me shaking his head in total agreement! At that moment I had a big “hit” of feeling of connected to this fellow and being thoroughly awake vibrating with energy! I’d never seen him before this morning. He introduced himself and I told him my name. We waved goodbye to each other. I felt so good inside!
I made a difference in that moment and I knew it on a level I haven’t felt in a while! This wasn’t romance or anything like that. It was just full present knowing what I said made a HUGE impact on the fellow! In my mind, I connect the dots that all this good happened because I made the decision to not let my aches and pains and loneliness win!
Here’s to more EXTRAORDINARY moments of awareness! YESSS!!!