The One Cause back of all never changes, but It constantly creates forms; and so we perceive a changing form within that which is changeless. — Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind 578.

In our book discussion of David Richo’s book, Five Things We Cannot Change…and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them, a most important question was asked: “Who should we believe, Ernest Holmes or David Richo?”

In The Science of Mind philosophy we read over and over again that we create our reality by our thinking. “You can tell what you believe by looking at your life” is a popular maxim. From the New Testament we read the words of Jesus, “It is done unto you as you believe.” We are encouraged to look at our underlying beliefs, our unconscious mind, to determine what we believe about ourselves and the conditions of our lives. In a flawless world, we would experience perfect health, financial abundance, and healthy relationships by believing these conditions are our reality. “As above, so below.”

Many years ago, when I was a new student of the Science of Mind and totally convinced of my power to shape my reality, several people that I loved transitioned in quick succession. Because I was a ‘newbie’ in this philosophy, I somehow thought I had caused these deaths of the people dear to me. My minister at the time, Dr Christian (Sorensen) looked me straight in the face and said, “You aren’t that powerful. Everyone is on their own path. Other people’s lives are not yours to control or direct.”

David Richo points out quite dramatically again and again that life happens to us: quite succinctly, “Stuff Happens.” The first “thing we cannot change” is the fact that nothing, absolutely nothing, stays the same. Romances change and get better as they mature, or they end in sorrow and bitterness. Marriages often end in separation or divorce. People lose jobs and friends. Even brand new cars will need repair and eventually need to be replaced. New houses need constant upkeep to keep from falling into a state of disrepair.

The most difficult life event for most of us to deal with is the death of someone we love. Richo writes, “Grief, the yes of tears, makes possible an acceptance of reality and its conditions, including an ending in death.” He goes on, “Grief readies us eventually to give up clinging to the past and to move toward closeness with new others who offer approximations of what we have lost.”

I have this short saying in my kitchen where I read it several times a day: “Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way we choose to cope with it is what makes the difference.” (Author unknown)

Each life experience, no matter how painful, is a chance to learn something of value. This is where Ernest Holmes reminds us that how we choose to perceive any situation, no matter how joy-filled or how painful, is what creates our reality. If I see any event as proof that I am being victimized, I remain a victim. If I see the same event as a chance to learn a valuable lesson, I will learn that lesson and move upward.

Regarding the question of whom we should believe, Ernest Holmes or David Richo, the answer is both of them. I am blessed to be in this community where we are taught the tools that enable us to rise above the “stuff” that life presents us, and to become more as we spiral upward beyond the events that shape our reality.

–Pat Masters