Category: practice

WABI-SABI

After graduating college magna cum laude, a woman asked me in a job interview, “How do you handle being a perfectionist?” Was she implying that there was something wrong with that?

It got me thinking about the negatives I experienced by wanting to be perfect: I wouldn’t try something if I thought I might not be good at it; It took me longer to do tasks; I would throw out good projects because they had a minor flaw. While I still strove to be perfect, there were times Icould recognize this was holding me back and take steps to move forward.

Years later I discovered wabi-sabi. As Kiyoshi Matsuomoto describes it, “Wabi-sabi is Japanese acceptance of imperfections as both meaningful and in their own way, beautiful.” The philosophy embraces that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

Kintsugi is a process of mending broken bowls with gold epoxy, which highlights the imperfection rather than disguises it. It is the physical demonstration of the wabi-sabi. It became so popular in Japan at one time that potters would intentionally break a piece of pottery they had just made in order to gild it in this manner.

Discovering this concept, and admiring the beautiful pottery, I have been able to incorporate it into my own experience. A fellow cardmaker, blaming her left-handedness, often makes a mistake on her card such as getting ink where it wasn’t intended. Instead of getting upset, she laughs and says, “At least the person I give it to will know it’s handmade by me.” I look at such mistakes I make as opportunities to add an embellishment creating the card into more than I originally intended.

Rev. Dr. Michael Gott wrote in a recent SOM Magazine, “We are human and we are divine. Can we finally…recognize and honor that our humanity is divine?” and, as John Legend sings, “love all your perfect imperfections.”

The student of Truth will maintain that they live in a Perfect Universe and among people potentially perfect. They will regulate their thinking to meet this necessity and will refuse to believe its opposite. At first they may be influenced by conditions, and they may appear to be weak, but as time goes on they will prove to themself that their position is a correct one, for that which appears imperfect will begin to slip from their experience. SOM 185.1

–Janet Salese

Crayons

I have always loved to color. One of my fondest memories as a child is coloring with my Aunt Ellie who taught me how to shade and outline with crayons, turning the simple drawings in my coloring books into works of art. I also have memories of drawings in school and being graded, having my art judged as good, or do better, or that’s not good at all. This taught me that I’m not an artist (my drawings were never really very good) and to keep my work to myself. This extended into writing and public speaking – I was afraid to share anything that might reveal me as not good enough. I took refuge in math, where the answer is either correct or not. There are logical steps to solving problems. I became really good at that and thought I had made peace with not being “artistic.”

Creativity runs through each of us and can never be completely silenced. In my twenties I would draw mandalas that I would color as a way of relaxing. I continue to color as a form of meditation. I have a dozen coloring books that range from simple children’s coloring books to complex “adult” mandalas. I have colored pencils, pens, and of course, crayons.

Over the course of my 20+ years with the Berkeley Physic Institute (BPI), I slowly began reclaiming my creativity. An integral part of every class is coloring with crayons. There were big bowls of crayons, and it was always such a joy when a box of sharp, new crayons was added to the mix. I got over my fear of my work not being “good enough” and embraced the stick people and scribbled roses I drew in class. Set in the vibration of spiritual kindergarten, the point of coloring was self-discovery and not to produce a work of art worthy of hanging on the wall, or even a refrigerator.

Recently crayons have been my medium of choice as I began doing nondominant hand (NDH) work. In her book, Living with Feeling, The Art of Emotional Expression, Lucia Capacchione writes, “writing and drawing with the nondominant hand give you greater access to the right-hemisphere functions: feelings, intuition, gut instinct, inner wisdom, and spirituality.” Writing and drawing with our NDH helps us to access our inner child that remembers the Truth about who we are. I have found her to be feisty and no nonsense.

As I consider my dream of doing Spiritual Coaching for a living, my inner critic, from that familiar place of “not good enough,” tells me I don’t know what I’m doing, I have nothing to offer, and I can’t really help anyone. The first picture below is my NDH’s response – I am the guide and Spirit is the compass, and together we navigate the mountains of our lives. The second picture is my NDH’s response to the Truth that I am an expression of the Infinite – I am both me as Sharon and Me as the I Am.

With crayons I access that little girl coloring with my Aunt, when every picture was a work of art made with love.

–Sharon Whealy, RScP

 

Our Co-Creation

When we use our creative imagination in strong faith, it will create for us, out of the One Substance, whatever we have formed in thought. In this way we become Co-Creators with God.
–Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind 157.2

It is the day before CSLT’s Co-Creation process begins with Dr Rev Kathy Hearn that will take place Thursday to Sunday. On Thursday everyone is invited to be a part of the process either by coming to the office or on Zoom. Please contact Mariann if you would like to attend, as there are handouts you will need. On Friday evening and Saturday, the Covenant Creation Team will create our New Minister “Sacred Covenant” which will establish the consciousness that welcomes our New Senior Minister. On Sunday Dr. Rev Kathy will be our speaker and we will read the “Sacred Covenant” together.

I still have a lot to learn about Co-Creation and looking forward to going through the process for calling our next minister, and seeing what aspects I can apply to my life. So far, I have learned that “Co-Creation is the state of consciousness that unfolds through the process of healing. It is the state of consciousness that arises when we come into agreement with others. When we come into the consciousness of consensus.” (Rev. Lloyd Strom, the Principles of Co-Creation)

And the sense I get of “healing” is learning about two relationships: My relationship with the Divine and my relationship with others and working through what separates me from others, so we move forward in writing the “Sacred Covenant” as One Mind.

The goal of Co-Creation is not to recreate, but create something new which is beyond my current knowledge. I look forward to a new CSLT that is Divinely created.

When a group of people come together with one accord and with one thought, a greater Power is generated. Not because the Creative Principle responds to a number of people more than It does to one, but because the combined faith of a group reaches a higher level of acceptance. Therefore, group spiritual practice should be definitely performed with the purpose in mind of arriving at a deeper conviction.

                        –Ernest Holmes, from handout on Group Spiritual Practice

–Maria

Stepping Out and Up By

Living in New York City for 35 years – a highly visual and colorful city – I particularly like Dr. Holmes when he uses especially vivid language to state that the responsibility for my Life is mine – all mine – AND only mine. It helps me remember the lesson.

“… The fact that our foot may be in a mud puddle now need not concern us for we can step to higher ground. We need to do this rather than to sit down with our foot still in the puddle and bemoan our situation, carefully noting in our mind every step we took which led us to our predicament, and probably finding ourselves sinking deeper into the mire rather than getting out of it.”       Ernest Holmes & Willis Kinnear. A New Design for Living (pp. 95-96).

That “stepping to higher ground” requires knowing not only that it exists, but it is within reach. Always already available. After 6 years of being around CSLT, I am finding the truth of that. As I’ve been taught, it’s simple, but not easy.

Persistent consistence are my bywords for moving out of the puddle and onto drier always somewhat higher ground. My house is papered with post-its reminding me to pay attention to now and to stay aware of and avoid the default state of mind that can so easily plop me right back into that puddle. The notes work better when I read them regularly.

Two weeks ago, in class (New Design for Living), Maria reminded us of the 5 ways to avoid any hole in our way. (The complete version of this is by Portia Nelson and follows this blog.)

Here’s my summary:

1- I see a hole and walk into it; complain, cry unfair, and eventually drag out of it.
2- I see it again and walk into it, say oh no, not again and begin crawling out.
3- I see it and walk into it, know it is my fault, and leave immediately.
4- I see it and walk around it.
5- I take a different path altogether.

Change is up to me, and I know that. I also know that the path and the changing are easier when I share it with like-minded individuals. The reminders on Sunday, chatting as we set-up and put away Sunday Service essentials, the small times we are together and share, the delighted laughter at some of the music choices these and so many more instances of sharing and caring provide the energy to reach up and out to that higher ground.

Thank you all for all the help in my stepping up and out.

–In Peace, Mariann

Continue reading for “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

V
I walk down another street.

Copyright (c) 1993, by Portia Nelson from the book There’s A Hole in My Sidewalk.

Thoughts about Being Present in the Practice

I’ve been working with BrainHQ for over 250 days. I haven’t actually worked with it every single day, but I have spent at least 5 minutes playing the ‘brain games’ most days. An interesting thing that I’ve noticed is that I’ve gotten better at some of the games that I was particularly pitifully unskilled at in the early days of playing. I’ve also noticed a couple more things about myself that are more broadly applicable.

Brain HQ is a fairly fast paced game that’s mostly about attention and focus. Every time I let my mind wander, I miss the next puzzle. If I berate myself for missing that puzzle, then I fail at the next several puzzles too, because I’m more focused on being irritated with myself, than I am on staying engaged with the game. This is great feedback, because it tells me that I’ve shifted my focus from something that has potential benefit, to something that doesn’t.

When I was much younger, I remember experiencing this same feeling. When my piano teacher wanted me to perform in public, I was so tense about performing that if/when I made an error (when I would lose my place, or fumble some notes), I would get so flustered, it was all over. My ability to continue was trashed. I didn’t have the external support to help me work my way through my lack of belief in myself as a musician, and I didn’t have the internal support that would allow me to see a way through. I’ve always appreciated musicians and actors who could flub a line and recover. I now have words to describe what they do – they redirect their focus from what went sideways (aka ‘wrong’) to what they wanted to have happen.

This is a basic teaching or practice in what we do, or what anybody wants to do, when they are moving in the direction of our dreams. When we screw up, or lose focus, we pick ourselves up, and begin again. We do this as many times as it takes. Most of us would prefer to reach a state of advancement that we no longer stumble and fall, but I’m not sure how realistic that is. It may be that we reach a state where we simply recover faster, wasting less time on self-irritation.

In sailing: If you are sailing towards a particular place, whether it is a tropical island, or the buoy that marks the turning-around-point of a sailboat race, you are almost never 100% on course. Instead, you are tacking back and forth, working toward that goal. I think the same thing is true in life.

I was reading Robert Greene’s The Daily Laws the other night. (If you have this book, it was the reading for February 11th.) He started by quoting Emerson, “That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed, but our power to do has increased.” The daily reading was about how we get to an advanced state of practice wherein it is easier to stay focused on our intended target.

He wrote, “… The more we do it (the thing we want to learn), the easier it becomes. Even with skills that are primarily mental, such as computer programming or speaking a foreign language, it remains the case that we learn best through practice and repetition – the natural learning process. We learn a foreign language by actually speaking it as much as possible, not by reading books and absorbing theories. The more we speak and practice, the more fluent we become. [This next section is the key to the puzzle that Greene unlocks.] Once you take this far enough, you enter a cycle of accelerated returns in which the practice becomes easier and more interesting, leading to the ability to practice for longer hours, which increases your skill level, which in turn makes the practice even more interesting. Reaching this cycle is the goal you must set for yourself.”

This is equally true for spiritual practice. We don’t ever reach a level where we can stop practicing. We can reach a level where the practice becomes attractive and enjoyable in its own right. Happy practicing!

A reminder that supports this idea from Ben Hardy

–Rev Janis

Lost in Translation

When I was in New Orleans earlier this month with an old friend from high school, she talked about how much her little town, which used to be a sleepy backwater sort of place, has grown in the last 20+ years. When she and her husband bought their place, it was out in the country. You had to drive for miles and miles to get to any sort of services – even grocery stores or gas stations. Now their little subdivision is surrounded by oodles of other subdivisions, all sorts of commercial buildings and retail areas, and traffic on the two-lane road is horrible. Her husband is a curmudgeonly, often sarcastic, homebody who really, truly hates change of any sort.

One day when he was grumbling about the traffic, the noise, or the increased number of people, she asked whether he wanted to move further out of town. He said, “No, I just want all those people to go away.” And she said, “That’s not going to happen. What do you want to do?” His totally irrational reply, “Nothing. They just need to go away.” Obviously, that conversation had nowhere (useful) to go. She just dropped it.

The Buddha is quoted as saying, “Life is suffering.” I don’t think that’s a good translation of what he actually said. I have a sneaky suspicion what he actually said was something more like, “Life happens. When we want it to be different than it is, that’s when we suffer. It’s our attachment to our expectations that leave us feeling the most dissatisfied, and disappointed, in our lives.”

Somewhere on my trip back from New Orleans, I lost my keyring with all my house, car, mailbox and office keys on it. (I’ve never done that before.) I discovered this when I was waiting for the off-site parking shuttle to take me to my car. I felt a moment of true panic. I’d hoped I’d left it on the dresser in the hotel. Apparently not. I could have thrown myself a pity-party and suffered because I lost my keys somewhere, but then Reason took over and I worked my way through what I needed first. And then next, and next, and next, and next.

When I asked myself where I wanted to grab supper, I got an answer that delighted me. I hadn’t enjoyed a meal at Zinburger since before the pandemic. When I arrived, I told the young man who was seating people about my dilemma, and he asked me if I’d used the ‘Hotel Tonight app’ to find a hotel. When I looked puzzled, he explained that when he used to travel for work, and got delayed overnight at airports around the country, he’d looked up local hotels on this application. He’d always had a good experience, and recommend I look them up. After I placed my dinner order, I pulled up the app for Tucson, and the first hotel that popped up was one pretty close to my house that I’d been curious about, and the available rate was less than the published rate. I also realized, after I had parked myself in that newly-remodeled, and quite comfortable, hotel, that I had been wanting to re-key my house, but had never gotten around to it. When I met the locksmith the next morning, he was an amazing human being. All in all, losing my keys was an okay experience.

From Ernest Holmes, The Art of Life 6.1, “God is life; not some life but all Life. God is Action; not some action, but all Action. God is Power; not some power, but all Power. God is Presence; not some presence but all Presence. God is pure Spirit, filling all space. This pure spirit animates your every act. There is a real you which lives in a real God, and the two are one. To know this is to understand the secret of life. To realize this is to understand your relationship with the Divine Presence. To realize the Law of Good is written in your own mind is to make available to you a power which can meet your every need.”

And from Rev Karin Wilson, author of the daily readings in the Science of Mind magazine for December 2022 (December 24), “Today I give myself kindness, knowing the Universe supports me, even when the sands of time feel rough beneath my feet.”

When we work with the river of life, rather than fight against it, or wish it to be other than it is, we can enjoy the ride. And what an amazing ride it is!

–Rev Janis Farmer

Rituals of Our Lives

We all have rituals and use them. It has always been so. Even though I have trouble wrapping my mind around this, archeologists claim to have discovered evidence of human ritual practices dating 70,000 – 80,000 years ago, and there is some disputed evidence that is older than that.

Rituals must serve us, right? They’ve been part of our human history for as long as we’ve been identifiable as humans. Why do we do rituals?

They can remind us of who we are, and how we fit in the bigger picture of our family or cultural traditions. We can use them to improve our quality of life and the quality of life for those around us. We can engage with them out of habit, duty or obligation. We can repeat them to quell our anxiety, or create an experience of order in a disordered, chaotic situation. They can help ground us in the present moment. They remind us of seasons past. Sometimes we do them because we love them; they encourage our feelings, emotions and experiences.

We’ve entered one of the seasons of the year that can be seriously ritual-heavy. I encourage you to look at the rituals you participate in. Engage in them with discernment, consciously aware of why you choose to continue the ritual practices that you observe.

Even if you don’t get all that much value out of some of the rituals that you do, but you do them in conscious and intentional service of another, they can add depth and quality to your life as an intentional act of service, but notice how much of your life energy you are spending in this way. Decide if you are okay with that, and choose accordingly.

In addition to any seasonal rituals that you might have with decorating, cleaning and clearing, sharing food, fellowship, gifts or song, or with renewing connections with people who you don’t normally interact with, this article suggests three ritual practices you might find useful.

www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/the-3-types-of-rituals-everyone-should-incorporate-into-their- day.html

Read the article if you are interested, otherwise, here’s the list:

  • Savoring. Taking a moment to appreciate what is already good in your life. If you share this feeling of appreciation with another, you appreciation is multiplied. Even if you are ‘only’ writing your appreciations in your journal, you’ve become more aware of the goodness that surrounds you.
  • Starting. This one sounds a little like “Let’s Make a Deal” except you are making a deal with yourself that after you do something enjoyable for a finite period of time, then you will start on a task that wants to be done, and you will start by doing this one thing. Steven Pressfield, in his classic text The War of Art, has an elaborate ritual that he follows every day before he sits down to write. Once the ritual has been completed, his mind is much more willing to drop the resistance and begin putting words on a page.
  • Making ourselves luckier. Since we experience what we believe, if we truly believe that wearing our favorite shirt on game day will make us play better, then wearing the lucky shirt will increase our confidence and focus, and we will probably play better.How can you use ritualized practices in service of your goals and dreams?

–Rev Janis Farmer

Practicing Gratitude Increases Well Being

This month’s theme is Gratitude 360. All month long we have been exploring gratitude. The Sunday talks from Rev. Janis have embraced this theme. There are two ongoing Zoom opportunities to further explore this topic. And tomorrow is a whole day devoted to giving thanks

Exploring gratitude practices on the internet, I found two articles from government agencies, the NIH and the VA, that relate how research has shown that a regular gratitude practice increases your well-being. (Links to these articles listed below.) They list several benefits that researchers have identified to be linked to gratitude including recovering more quickly from illness, enjoying more robust physical health and improvements in sleep and energy.

One article states that “Gratitude is both an attitude and a practice.” To experience these
positive health results, gratitude must be practiced regularly on a daily or weekly basis. I found it interesting that at least one study showed that journaling just once a week produced better results than daily writing. The key factor being the “will” behind the action. In other words, putting real intention into the gesture, not just doing it by habit.

Both articles included several ideas of ways to practice and suggested switching it up to keep your practice fresh. A few that were new to me were:

●  Imagine your life without the good things in it, so as not to take things for granted.
●  Setting checkpoints throughout the day to reflect on positive things that have happened that day.
●  Create a gratitude jar to collect pieces of paper on which you write things you’re thankful for and literally “count your blessings.”

 

 

 

I have an empty jar on my desk and found some strips of paper already cut that I’m going to use to implement that last one right now!

 

 

Whatever way you choose to give thanks, do it regularly with a grateful heart and increase your heart health.

Creating a Gratitude Practice – Whole Health Library (va.gov)
Practicing Gratitude | NIH News in Health

–Janet Salese

Got Moves? by Madeline Pallanes

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I do. Those of you who know me in the most recent years, probably find that surprising. I haven’t always been weighted down as I am now.

Many years ago, on the encouragement of my brother (who has always been quite health conscious) I signed up for a yoga class offered at a local yoga studio. I had never done yoga. The closest involvement I ever had with yoga was delivering their mail to the studio. To be properly prepared, I bought a yoga mat at our local sporting goods store and a cute yoga
outfit. I was ready to start my new yoga practice.

I showed up for my first class, late. I know you find that surprising too. I wasn’t that late but late enough that all heads turned to me in complete silence. Everyone was already in their first pose.

I smiled. “Hi! I’m Madeline. I’m here to learn yoga.” The teacher glanced over at the clock and stated the time class starts. That was the start of my yoga practice.

My practice continued for quite a few years centering primarily around breathing, meditation, and relaxation. I loved my yoga practice. It helped me to physically feel better, reduce stress and clear my mind. Eventually the local yoga studio closed and so did my practice. Over the years, I have thought about picking it back up again. Recently, it has been on my mind quite a lot. I really liked the moves. I liked how it made me feel.

I have done and heard of many types of yoga. You can imagine my excitement when Reverend Karen Russo said she was going to teach us “wealth yoga”. Wealth yoga? This was a new one for me! How exciting! I knew I loved yoga, and I knew I loved the thought of being wealthy. I’ve made a lot of yoga moves and a lot of financial moves, just never together. It has to be better together! Wow. I’m back & eager to continue my yoga practice. This time I won’t show up late!

Bells of Mindfulness

September’s Sacred Cinema movie is Walk With Me, a documentary about Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh and the Plum Village Community. You are invited to attend the Sacred Cinema Zoom meeting this Sunday, September 18 at 3pm (contact office for Zoom link). Even if you don’t watch the movie, come discuss a favorite quote or teaching from the Master.

Watching the movie, there were two things that made a lasting impact on me. The first is Thich Nhat Hanh’s advice to a little girl whose dog recently died. You can watch the except
here: ‘Walk With Me’ Documentary film clip – Thich Nhat Hanh on dog dying.

The second was the “Bells of Mindfulness”. The movie shows that at Plum Village, every 15 minutes a bell will ring. Attendees stop whatever they are doing – talking, eating, walking, working – for a few breaths as a reminder to return to being mindful, mindful of what they are doing, saying, thinking, feeling. I wondered what that would be like. I wanted to experience this.

I was trying to figure out how to do this at home. That’s when I discovered a free app provided by Plum Village that includes the Bells of Meditation. You can get the app here: Mindfulness Apps | Plum Village

I had a free morning at home so I downloaded the app and enabled the bell. It starts you out with a 2-hour session with the bell ringing every 15 minutes. I started it and went about my day. Every 15 minutes when I heard the bell, I would stop what I was doing, take a long slow breath and check in with how I was feeling, what I was doing. Was I mindfully (or mindlessly) doing my tasks? Was I connected to my body? Was I aware of my surroundings? It did make me more aware of what I was doing, seeing, and feeling. But I actually found it distracting, taking me off task.

I decided to go another couple hours, but at a 30 minute interval. At this interval I found myself anticipating the bells. I would wait to start a task until the half hour was up or find a task, I thought would be completed in 30 minutes. I was being “mindful” in a way that didn’t serve me well.

The next day I decided to try again, but at a random 23 minutes. This way, I would not be sure when the bell would go off if I happened to look at a clock. This worked well for me. I was able to get things accomplished without being concerned about time or when the bell would ring. The bell at indiscriminate times brought me back to mindfulness, deciding if what I was doing at that time was what I should be doing.

When I find myself mindlessly going through my day, I now have another tool in my toolbox to bring me back to the present moment. “…we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.” ― Thích Nhất Hạnh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life.

–Janet Salese

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