Laughing Until It Hurts – Someone

Irony and sarcasm are forms of communication in which the literal meaning of the words is different, often opposite, from the intended message. In both irony and sarcasm, there may be an element of criticism and humor. However, sarcasm is a particular type of irony in which the underlying message is normally meant to ridicule, tease, or criticize. Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart

I enjoy being funny. When we make others laugh it can feel joyful and the ego gets a bump. Yet my primary motivation in relating to others is to be kind. Often humor at another’s expense can be unkind, even cruel. This is often accomplished with sarcasm. According to Oscar Wilde, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.” Brené Brown asks, “Are you dressing something up in humor that actually requires clarity and honesty?”

I first practiced sarcasm as a defense against an older brother who was physically bullying at times when we were young. Of course, spewing mean words that put down the enemy doesn’t necessarily make up for receiving sticks and stones, but it was the best tool I had in my arsenal since I didn’t like hitting anyone, even my brother. It’s not unusual for a first-born to think “things were just fine until they brought that other baby home,” especially if there’s a short time between births. Sibling rivalry is an interesting phenomenon rife with opportunities for sarcasm.

I noticed a puzzled reaction from my 3-year-old grandson once when my husband said something sarcastic such as, “Gee, you don’t have any toys, do you?” Clearly, what my grandson was hearing wasn’t true and he seemed confused. He hadn’t been exposed to that kind of teasing and couldn’t perceive my husband’s motive to be funny.

Some April Fools’ jokes have caused misunderstanding, confusion, and embarrassment for the target of the joke. Often, I may not be clear that a remark is sarcastic and find myself asking.”Really? Or are you kidding?”

In the section titled Judge Not, That Ye Be Not Judged (Science of Mind, page 433), Ernest Holmes reminds us “…life must return to us the manifestation of our motives, thoughts, and desires – whether these motives, thoughts and desires were intended for ourselves or others. It means that the thought of judgment, criticism and condemnation must, in time, operate against the one who sets it in motion!” A good reason to be careful in what we put out verbally.

I think of Henny Youngman with his “Take my wife, please.” Making his wife the butt of his jokes entertained a lot of people and made him a lot of money. I believe this form of comedy can be offensive. A broad category of offensive jokes includes sexist, racist, and ethnic jokes along with jokes about sexual orientation, disability, nationality, profession, and other human traits.

Sometimes we are quick-witted and say something sarcastic or insensitive without first thinking it through. Making amends is sometimes called for. I believe that sarcasm can be an example of a passive aggressive attack and too often we think saying “I was just kidding” will excuse our lack of compassion. Sarcasm can be displayed in varying personal encounters from the boardroom to the cheerleading squad especially where there is competition.

I hope to avoid sarcasm but still enjoy humor and laughter. As Ann Lamott says, “Laughter is carbonated holiness.” To me the solution is recognizing that we are one with the Divine; that Source supports and guides us through any change or perceived difficulty; that love and compassion are our answer when dealing with our fellows. One of the Four Agreements, as written by don Miguel Ruiz is to “take nothing personally.” When we take the risk to live our ultimate truth, we don’t need anyone else’s validation. Kindness should be our primary intention in communicating with others.

–Linda Bullock

Friends

Friend [frend] (noun) – a person one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.

Due to recent events, I have been thinking a lot about friends and friendship lately. Just as there are different types of love, there are many different types of friends.

I celebrated my birthday last month. That always brings phone calls from friends I’ve known for a very long time, some of whom I may only talk to once or twice a year. The conversations flow as if we had just spoken yesterday. We catch each other up, talk about what is on our hearts or just chatter. An hour or two goes by before we finally say goodbye.

Last week I traveled to Prescott at the request of a dear friend to attend her party. To see her face light up when I entered was priceless and filled me with just as much joy. A long hug followed. Hopefully it won’t be years before we do that again.

The day after the party I stopped by the Unity Church I attended when I lived up north. I caught up to a girlfriend where we talked about our spiritual journeys that have led us both to CSL. Another familiar face just embraced me and smiled.

And there are the friends I talk to and see on a regular basis, sharing everyday events as they occur. We may chat about this and that or maybe simply sit in silence appreciating each other’s presence.

My acupuncturist and I have a unique relationship. I spend about 40 minutes with her every other week. We’ve come to know a lot about each other’s lives and likes/dislikes over the decade I’ve been seeing her. I count her as a friend also, especially when she came out of Covid retirement to treat me.

There’s the neighbor I wave to on my morning walk and the one I invite over for dinner. And the favorite barista who knows how you like your coffee without having to ask. They serve it to you with a smile as you wish them a good morning, enriching each of their days.

“If you are going to gain anything in life, gain a friend. They will always be there and that makes all the difference in the world.” finetofab.com

“Good friends are like stars: you don’t always see them, but you know they are there.”

“A silent communication takes place at all times between friends.” SOM 421.4

–Janet Salese

Got A Reverend?

Ahh, now that caught your attention.

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between a pastor and a reverend? I have.

Many years ago, I attended a church and “Pastor Tom” went on vacation. While he was gone “Reverend John” filled in for Pastor Tom giving the Sunday talk. When Pastor Tom returned, I asked him, “what’s the difference between a pastor and a reverend?” Pastor Tom paused, thought for a moment, and said, “a pastor has his own church, a reverend doesn’t.” I think that was the short answer to what could be a complex answer that varies based on the religion. That settled my curiosity at the time.

Bing says “The key difference between a pastor and a reverend is the roles & scope. A pastor specifically leads a congregation and provides spiritual guidance, while a reverend is a broader title used for ordained ministers across different roles and denominations.”

Google defines reverend as, “used as a title or form of address to members of the clergy.”

As we call in our new minister, we see our new minister revealed before us as our joyful vibrant community leader. We know that they will be revealed in a way that will express Spirit and serve the highest and greatest good of all who are touched by their Presence.

You can strengthen our calling by reading the Covenant Prayer frequently.

There is only One Life! That Life is God’s Life! That Life is Perfect. That Life is my Life Now!

In knowing that I am ‘one’ with this Life that is God…I therefore know that I am ‘one’ with all of its blessed expressions, which includes the Presence of a New Minister for My beloved Spiritual Community.

Because I know that the highest Purpose of my New Minister is to express Spirit, I therefore know that my New Minister is a Revelation of Spirit as: Wholeness. I further know that my New Minister is the fulfillment of that which has been promised by God, for it is written:

Happiness and Wholeness fill my entire being with the realization of Love and Perfection.

As I stand in agreement with my beloved Community, I see my New Minister revealed before me as my joyful, vibrant community leader.

I now intend to experience my New Minister in full cooperation and agreement with my Community, knowing this Truth about myself, for …

I am inspiring and motivating the experience of wholeness and love

I am revealing the divinity and wisdom within me

I am leading in the realization of truth and love I am facilitating, supporting and expanding a diverse selection of classes

I am providing a nurturing, vibrant community welcoming all

As I now accept the highest expression of a New Minister into my life, I know that they will be revealed in a way that will express Spirit and serve the highest and greatest good of all who are touched by their Presence.

I am grateful God is gracious.

And so It is.

–Madeline Pallanes

Grow and Flourish

Tamara Morrison illustration

Sunday was our annual meeting. We have been without a minister since February when Rev. Janis retired. There are lots of volunteer hours used to make our center work. The full report will be posted on the CSLT website under “About” then “Organizational Documents.”

I love our little community. And I have to change my mindset about that. I love our growing community. It is necessary for our community to grow and flourish. As I am thinking about this finding the words not coming, and look to the SOM Daily Guide and find:

We must learn to trust the law of growth. We do not force a seed into a full-grown plant. There is a law of evolution or unfoldment in nature that does this in a logical sequence.

There is no mental coercion in using the law of mind any more than there would be in using the creative law of fertility of the soil. We plant a seed in it; it evolves a plant. To plant a seed of thought and then uproot it through doubt, denial, undo haste or anxiety is to neutralize our own effort. It would be like planting corn and then uprooting it every few days to see if it were growing. We must learn to trust this law of growth since it is a natural part of the order of cause and effect. Ernest Holmes, Lessons in Spiritual Mind Healing page 23.

I have been feeling a mixture of fear and love as we look for a new minister. The love of the community and the fear of funds. We are using our savings to keep going. I like that we don’t hard sell donating, but the reality is it takes funds to keep us running.

For a garden to grow it takes sunlight, rain, time to grow. For our center to grow it will take time, treasure and talent. And I, I will learn to trust the law of growth.

–Maria

Prosperity by Living As …

As we prepare the way for our new minister I was reflecting about our center as – Vibrant Thriving Prosperous Center.

“We believe that the Universal Spirit, which is God, operates through a Universal Mind, which is the Law of God; and that we are surrounded by this Creative Mind which receives the direct impress of our thought and acts upon it.” CSL Doctrine

“We enter into harmony with the Law of Increase by actually becoming a person of increase. A Person of increase is a person who leaves each person or situation they encounter better than they found it. A person of increase is a person who offers to be of service, a person who offers praise and a person who lives from gratitude. This type of person has the mindset of service. When you do this, you allow the increase to move through your life. –Mary Morrissey (modified)

“Giving is Better Than Receiving Because Giving Starts the Receiving Process” Jim Rohn

We are moving into October and October’s theme is prosperity/abundance. I began to reflect on my experiences and how they have changed. My fears and scarcity mindset were changing even as I was approaching my involvement with CSLT. My wife convinced me to enroll in Prosperity Plus II.

Mary Morrissey presents a convincing and compelling case to reconsider our relationship with abundance and prosperity. Mary relates many personal anecdotes from her challenging experiences. She speaks to her own challenges surrounding survival and money. And conveys principles and spiritual laws that allowed me to take up her challenges to give to CSLT the tithe amount of 10% of all my income and give of my time to the tune of 4 hours a week.

I had taken the course because I was hoping for more information on how to create wealth. As it turns out what I walked away with was a newfound relationship with giving.

“Giving doesn’t really empty our soul, it literally expands us” Mary Morrissey

–Chris Wheeler

Butterflies: Chaos and Change

You most likely have heard that a butterfly fluttering its wings wreaks havoc half a world away. But for me the question has become does it create “chaos” or “change”? The more I read and absorb teachings from individuals I trust and respect – the result is ours to create.

“There is a phenomenon in groups of ants that could teach us a lot: When a large community of ants is seeking something–some food, something to build with, or a way out of or around something–it seems that mass chaos breaks out with ants scurrying in all directions and even over one another. However, when a single ant finds whatever is being sought, this seems to be communicated almost instantly throughout the group consciousness, and all the ants converge on the discovery. A similar experience has been noted among bees. What this illustrates is that “chaos” in any situation, system, or group is actually a form of order we simply haven’t understood.” (emphasis added) Roger Teel – This Life Is Joy 229.2

How does one do that? That seems like an immense challenge and a great responsibility.

“There are things that are known, and there are things that are unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” Aldous Huxley

To practice seeing the “doorway” of opportunity within chaos–or more often within a habit or tradition–is to allow possibility and solution–accepting that opportunity as the way out of confusion.

Chaos or emerging order – Stasis or conscious growth? It seems the choices should be clear-cut, but when we are in the middle of a muddle it can seem ridiculously complex.

“We should be able to look a discordant fact in the face and deny its reality, since we know its seeming reality is borrowed from illusion, from “chaos and old night.”…. We should be able to look at a wrong condition with the knowledge that we can change it. The realization that we have this ability must be gained by the application of our knowledge.” Ernest Holmes – The Science of Mind 53.5

When my inside seems chaotic or confused, I know what I should do: stop, relax, allow, let be and trust what emerges.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

John O’Donohue – “For a New Beginning”-To Bless the Space Between

–In Peace – Mariann

LOVE IN A WORD

Our theme for September is Loving Outloud and it’s got me thinking a lot about the word Love. In the     English language we say we love our  partner, our parents, our children, and our pets. We also say we love the ocean, the mountains, the desert, and the dessert. We love cake and ice cream, we love our cars and our homes, and some of us really love our stuff (you fill in the blank). We use the word love so loosely that it can almost lose its meaning.

 

 

The Greeks have eight words for the various types of experiences of love:

• There is the love of family, or storge, that is the natural love family members have for one another

• There is philia, the type of love friends have for one another

• Pragma is the love grown out of obligation, duty, or logic

• Erotic love is eros, the love expressed by physical desire.

• As it sounds, mania is obsessive love, the love that sparks jealousy and possessiveness

• Borrowed from Latin, ludus is playful love, often associated with courtship and new relationships

• Love of self is philautia that expresses how we feel about ourselves and our bodies

• Finally, there is unconditional, sacrificial love known as agape’. This is the love that one can have for God, humanity, or life itself.

Source: Dictionary.com

The famous passage in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes this agape’ type of love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Ernest Holmes defines Love as “the self-givingness of the Spirit through the desire of Life to express Itself in terms of creation. Emerson tells us that Love is a synonym for God. . . . Love is free from condemnation, even as it is free from fear. Love is a cosmic force whose sweep is irresistible.” The Science of Mind pg. 608

This is the love we strive for, the love that fills our hearts and helps us to find forgiveness that transcends human level conditions. In love, there is no fear, no doubt, no separation, only the infinite Love of Spirit that unites us with all of Life.

–Sharon Whealy, RScP

Places

There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments….
                   In My Life by John Lennon

I first visited Lahaina, Maui in 1977. It was part of a one-week 3-island trip, a real bargain with flights out of LAX. I fell in love with Hawaii, eventually purchased a timeshare and visited one or more of the 4 major islands at least 30 times. On my first visit to Lahaina the town was small with no high-end lodging in town. The recommended restaurant, The Whale’s Tail, was tiny and upstairs on Front Street, across from the Banyan tree. This historically significant town was the filming location of several movies. It was destroyed by wildfire the week of August 7. We are friends with 2 couples who live on Maui full-time. The losses are immeasurable. In such situations my feelings of sadness eventually mature to acceptance.

I seem to form emotional attachments to places. Sometimes the connections are due to the beauty and atmosphere of the place itself; often places become special because of the activity and people involved. I know that change is inevitable and change over a long period of time can be major. I would prefer that my special places remain the same so that by revisiting I can recapture some of the magic I first felt. I have been shocked, angry, and sad at some geographical changes. One of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is to “take nothing personally.” Just like with any kind of loss, I can choose gratitude for the experience and love how it enhanced my life. So I will do that. My special times in Hawaii were numerous. None of my experiences were unique but they were personally intimate.

I once told someone that after cremation I wanted half my ashes to be sprinkled off the end of the pier in Hanalei, Kauai, and the other half around the base of Bell Rock in Sedona. I was sort of kidding. I first visited Sedona in 1984. Tlaquepaque was relatively new, and the population was a fraction of what it has become. In visiting in 2008, I took offense at the traffic circles and the new mall where Oaxaca restaurant had been located. The amount of traffic was another inconvenient change. Sedona is still lovely, and I enjoyed its beauty on several trips. Gratitude to the Source for the natural wonders.

In 1991 I spent 6 months on a temporary job assignment in Chicago. I met some amazing people and got to experience the St. Patrick’s Day Parade and the Chicago River being dyed green. Lack of familiarity and experience in city life caused some slight fears at the beginning but I am grateful for every minute I spent in Chicago and for the wonderful interpersonal experiences.

For a few years I traveled to Charleston, SC for the Spoleto Festival and shared a beach house on the Isle of Palms across the river. Details were all arranged and scheduled by a friend who grew up in the Charleston area. The food and music were phenomenal. Activities were fun. Another special place is San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, a colonial-era city, declared a UNESCO World Heritage site due to its centuries-old Baroque and Neoclassical style architecture. A life-long friend of my husband is a resident and was full of useful information. We visited once for a week and a couple of years later we stayed for a month. I lack the space and vocabulary to describe this magical city and the joy I experienced on my visits.

In New Thought we know that positive expectation, believing what we are thinking, influences outcomes. In Creative Mind and Success, Ernest Holmes states “Wherever you go, know that the Spirit of Truth goes before and prepares the way, bringing to you every friend and influence that will be necessary to your comfort and wellbeing.” This language richly describes what is possible if we apply the Law to our planned experiences.

I likely will not travel to these places again, yet they are part of me, my tapestry. Thank you, Carole King.

My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view…. Tapestry by Carole King

 

–Linda Bullock

Welcoming All

“We should not study to be alike, but rather to develop what we really are.”  Ernest Holmes, “Living the Science of Mind,” page 172.1

“When individuals with diverse viewpoints and experiences converge, they often generate a fertile ground for innovation.” Unknown

I’m currently working on costumes for HIR by Taylor Mac. Hir is a pronoun used instead of “him” or “her” to refer to a person of unspecified or nonbinary gender. Included in the cast and crew are individuals identifying as gay, transgender, queer as well as cisgender with ages ranging from teens to seventies.

The director has taken steps to make sure Live Theatre Workshop is a place where everyone feels safe to be and express themselves during rehearsals. It has been a pleasure working with them in this atmosphere of acceptance and collaboration.

I think it’s ironic that in an industry where we are creating a different reality and taking on characters that are not ourselves, that individuals feel truly comfortable being themselves. If it were only as easy to be so in the “real” world.

When Rev. Janis and I first met with the staff of Live Theatre Workshop about the possibility of holding Sunday Service there, the one thing they wanted to be assured of was that we were inclusive. Rev. Janis told them about the wedding she had recently officiated for two lovely ladies.

A new LGBTQ activity was started this month. This group will meet for coffee after service on the second Sunday of the month. Contact Maria if you are interested in joining.

The CSLT Sacred Covenant which we have been reciting as a group during Sunday service states “I am providing a nurturing, vibrant community welcoming all.” It is my vision that CSLT does provide a sense of ease for all who show up. Let us stand in agreement as a community in providing such an atmosphere.

(For those interested, HIR opens September 7 and runs through September 24. If anyone would like to join me, I will be in the audience on September 14. Contact me about possible comps. Be forewarned that while the first half of the show has many humorous moments, the second act does get heavy as the play deals with a wide variety of topics including transgender and transitioning, domestic abuse, stroke survivor, returning from war, PTSD, drug use and more.)

–Janet Salese

Got Tears?

Most recently I have been experiencing intense emotions. If you’re anything like me (and I’m sure you are) you already know these emotions have a direct effect on our bodies and mind. Daily, day to day emotions (happiness, sadness, fear, momentary anxiety etc.) generally  come and go throughout our day.

Did you know these emotions are created by our brain based on previous experiences? We all know how our body feels with these different emotions. I’m sure you have heard, how we react to the physical feeling we all experience, has a profound impact on our body & mind. But did you know our bodies naturally know how to heal these negative emotional feelings? Yep, it’s true. One way our body starts healing the feelings and releases pent-up emotions, is by crying. Crying is good for you! I cry a lot.

Research has proven that when we experience various intense emotions, the hormones in our body raise. Our bodies naturally create these extra hormones. Research has also found that in order for our body to return to its natural hormonal state, the extra created hormones are released through our tears. This is why we always feel better after a good cry. Women have more hormones than men, which is why women generally cry more than men.

Since my body already knows how to naturally heal itself, I wonder about my mind. How does that naturally heal itself? My guess is that you already know the answer to that. Science of Mind. I study, absorb, practice, and live the teachings of Science of Mind. One practice that has been most beneficial to me, is participating in our Daily Morning Zoom Meditation Group. I hold deep gratitude to this group for helping me to heal my mind. Our group is open and welcoming to all who want to join us. How about you?

–Madeline Pallanes

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